Tidbits: Wine Humor - FAQS



Tidbits: Wine Humor - FAQS

"Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils: people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing."
~~ Tom Dreesen


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
How long do wines keep once opened?
Answer:
The answer is a highly subjective, according to both the wine and the drinker. Generally, dry white wines have the shortest life once opened. I find they lose their character after even one or two days, especially cheaply-made, oaky New World whites. (Whites with good acidity and lots of character from Burgundy are an exception.) For reds, I think that most start to slip after two days, though again it depends on how well the wine was made. There are always exceptions.

Sweet and fortified wines, such as icewine, port and sherry, have a longer life because of their higher sweetness and/or alcohol, both of which act as a preservative. I still like most opened icewines after three to four days; ports from one week to four, depending on their quality. You can extend the life of any opened wine by giving it a few squirts of liquid nitrogen, such as Wine Preserver, a spray can sold in many liquor and wine accessory stores. Another trick is to pour your remaining wine into a clean, empty half bottle size and cork it. This also minimizes the amount of oxygen that can affect the wine. Some drinkers don't mind a wine that's still 60-80% there in terms of its character; others want the full expression or nothing. I tend to err on the latter side of the ledger.


Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.



Question:
What is the best wine to gift for a close friend's Anniversary?
Answer:
What a thoughtful friend you are! The perfect wines to give as Anniversary gifts are either those they can consume then and there to celebrate, such as French Champagne, or fine red wines or vintage Portos that can be saved and aged until the 10th anniversary. So if you want French Champagne, buy Brut Vintage if you can afford it. Brut means dry, and Vintage means from a single vintage year that is declared great. Best brands include: In the $35 price range MUMM Cordon Rouge, POMMERY, TAITTINGER Brut La Francaise, HEISIECK, VEUVE CLICQUOT etc. These also go all the way up to $90 per bottle for their best "cuveé"-such as Dom Perignon, Cuvee Louise, Taittinger Comtes de Champagne, and Fleur de Champagne in hand painted flower bottle by Perrier-Jouet. Any Vintage Porto--especially 1994s on the market now--will be great for keeping 10-15 years. Any great Cabernet Sauvignon from California or red Bordeaux will also make a fantastic gift for saving 10 years. Go to the best wine store in your area and ask their wine consultant to find these items in your price range. My suggestion is the immediate gratification of good French Champagne!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it."
~~ Hannah More


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I don’t drink anymore – just the same amount."
~~ Joe. E. Lewis


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I drink to forget I drink."
~~ Joe E. Lewis


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like."
~~ Garrison Keillor


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I have long heard that the best wines in the world are French, and that in the four major classifications they are Romanee-Conti (red burgundy), Chateau Lafite Rothschild (red bordeaux), Le Montrachet (white burgundy), and Chateau d'YQuem (white bordeaux). Would you agree?
Answer:
The only reason people get away with even discussing the "top" French wines is that unlike our U.S.A. wine laws, the French government wine laws actually have official "rankings" of certain types of French wines. They rank red Bordeaux wines from the Medoc for instance and have 5 chateaux that rate in the highest category: Ch. Lafite-Rothschild, Ch. Mouton- Rothschild, Ch. Latour, Ch. Margaux, Ch. Haut-Brion. All five are of equivalent quality--so no Lafite is not the only top rated red Bordeaux. Same goes for the classification of Sauternes from Bordeaux--Ch. d'Yquem is the only Sauternes rated above the others however, so yes, it is for Sauternes (not for all white Bordeaux because Graves has its own classification). As for Romanee-Conti, yes it is rated a "Grand Cru" single vineyard in Burgundy, but there are 29 other vineyards rated "Grand Cru" in the Cote d'Or best part of Burgundy where it's located. But it is certainly one of the most costly red Burgundies and with great collector's value. And finally, Le Montrachet is also one of the 30 "Grand Cru" single vineyards in the Cote d'Or of Burgundy. But among white Burgundy wines, yes it is considered to be the rarest and most costly collector's item among the great white Burgundies. Go into a fine wine store with a temperature- controlled wine vault to find them.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it."
~~ Anonymous


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I am having a party for 70 people. We will have a punch for non-drinkers. What else should I serve them? We want to have a bottle of each white and red wine at each table. What is a good and reasonably priced option? We are also having a Champagne toast. Any suggestions?
Answer:
The non-alcohol beverages that I recommend for non-drinkers include iced tea and red grape juice. Both of these have natural tannin which is the anti-oxidant in red grape skins and red wines. The taste of these (except for the sweetness of the red grape juice) will not interfere with the palate if some of these non-drinkers later decide to switch to wine. But sodas and punches do interfere with your ability to appreciate the taste of good wines. The most popular white wine is Chardonnay-inexpensive try NapaRidge, mid-price try Meridian or Wente, expensive try Sonoma-Cutrer, Grgich Hills or any Reserve Chardonnay from California. The most popular red wine is Merlot-inexpensive to mid-priced try Sequoia Ridge or Forest Glen or Columbia Crest; for slightly more expensive try Chateau St. Jean, DeLoach, Kenwood or Whitehall Lane etc. As for the Champagne toast-if you serve just one glass per person, you might be able to afford a good Brut N.V. French Champagne such as Bollinger Special Cuvee, Taittinger Brut La Francaise, Louis Roederer Premier, Laurent Perrier LP, Mumm Cordon Rouge, Heidsieck Monopole Blue Top, Pommery and Pol Roger. All these brands also do top of the line expensive Vintage dated Brut for a spectacular splurge.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"When my mom got really mad, she would say, 'Your butt is my meat.' Not a particularly attractive phrase. And I always wondered, ''Now, what wine goes with that?'"
~~ Jonathan Solomon


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"If your doctor warns that you have to watch your drinking, find a bar with a mirror."
~~ John Mooney


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Why do they tell you to let the wine "breathe"?
Answer:
All wines benefit from a little "breathing" time after they are opened for two reasons: 1. To aerate the wine to remove any cellar smells and open up the aroma; and 2. To soften the tannins in the wine and make it taste smoother. This last reason particularly applies to young red wines, which have the most tannin (astringency). But simply pulling the cork does not open enough surface area to let the wine breathe, so the best way to let a wine breathe is to pour it into a wine glass, filling the glass no more than 1/3 full. Then by swirling the wine in the glass you can aerate it completely because of the wide surface area of the wine in the glass. Many wine experts also decant their wines to aerate them-the wine is aerated as it is poured through the air into the decanter. The only wines you do not let breathe in this way, are very old reds--they are rather fragile and their first aromas are superb, but quickly fade when they are exposed to the air. By the way, the saying goes: "air is the enemy of wine when too much of it oxidizes the wine and turns it brown; air is the friend of wine when it allows the wine to breathe in your glass." In other words, you want to ventilate your wines a bit, not hyperventilate them!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
What does the term "terroir" mean? In plain English please! Is it used exclusively with regard to French wines?
Answer:
Most Americans are terrified of this word because it is hard to pronounce- tair wahr-and it is a very hard concept to understand. "Terroir" is a French term--meaning differences in geography, soil and climate from one vineyard to the next will produce distinct differences in the taste of the wine even if they grow the same grapes. It is a term that originated in Burgundy, France-but it is important in every wine country. The finest and most expensive wines in the world from any country-whether labeled by grape variety, controlled name of origin or level of quality by sugar content-- are "single vineyard" wines that name the individual vineyard where the grapes were grown. This is much like the difference in terroir that produces Kona Vintage Chocolate from Hawaii or Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee. What a difference a place makes. Finally, the reputation of the winery and its winemaker are also an indication of quality-as is the vintage year, the year of harvest, on the label. The vintage year is not the year the wine was made since some wines are in production for 2-3 years. Every year all wineries have to grow an entire new crop of grapes. Some years the weather is good and the harvest of fruit (grapes) is good. Without good grapes you cannot make good wine. If the weather is not good during a growing season, it is not rated a good vintage year.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Man does not suffer from too much to drink, but from the hangover."
~~ Russian Proverb


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I drink to make other people interesting."
~~ George Jean Nathan


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
How do I become a wine writer?
Answer:
There's no standard way to become a wine writer. I think most wine writers come in through the back door, from another field since there aren’t any wine writing schools. Your best bet is to read and taste all you can, and start cold calling editors. Start with your local newspaper or smaller wine publications, such as a neighborhood newspaper, and work your way up. It's a slow but enjoyable process.

I’d say when starting out that you get at least nineteen no’s for every yes. I don’t mean this as discouragement but there are many folks wanting to do this so you have to be persistent (and keep your day job for many years). Sometimes, the most effective approach is to find a publication that doesn’t have a wine column but should. Often the big papers and magazines have regular columnists and they don’t need other articles.

You should also try to prefect your craft in several ways: by reading all you can about wine, by tasting all the wines you can and by working on writing itself (take some journalism corses). Find someone, if you can, who is a veteran journalist, perhaps someone at the university to review your work—and pay that person if need be.

Even if you can’t get published at first, write some pieces on popular topics (food and wine matching or something seasonal such as great wines for the barbecue or something that’s a bit of a scoop like an interview with a visiting winemaker), polish it up and have it ready. Most editors just want one-paragraph ideas but you’ll have these as samples.

Keep trying. It’s lonely and hard for the first two to three years. But if you work at it, some day you may find yourself a full-fledged wine hack!


Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.



Question:
What Spanish Rioja under $10 would you suggest?
Answer:
Every city will have different availability, but here are the most popular brands of Spanish Riojas: Bodegas Montecillo-Vina Cumbrero 1995 or 1996 Marques de Cacerers-Riojas "Crianza" 1995 or 1996 Marques de Grinon-Rioja 1995 or 1996 Conde de Valdemar "Crianza"-Bodegas Martinez Bujanda 1995 Marques de Murrieta-"Crianza" 1995 Bodegas Muga-Torre Muga-Rioja 1995 Federico Paternina-Rioja, Banda Azul, 1995 Faustino-Rioja 1995 If you love red Rioja made from Tempranillo grape, may I suggest you try another great Spanish red made from Tempanillo: Ribera de Duero wines-from one of the hottest new regions in Spain.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
Recently I was served an unknown Austrian "Grunerveltliner" I know very little about this varietal and would like to learn more.
Answer:
In Austria the white grape variety Gruner Veltiner accounts for more than 1/3 of their vines. It makes a dry, light to medium body wine with crisp acidity and can be slightly "spritzig" which means little bubbles of carbon dioxide in the bottom of the glass left after fermentation. It is describes as having a smoky or white pepper aroma, and is not aged in oak so is meant to be consumed within 3 years of the vintage. Most are labeled "trocken" meaning dry. Austrian wines are hard to find in the U.S.A. Most major producers such as Lenz Moser produce a Gruner Veltliner. This grape is also grown in Hungary. If you cannot find it in your market-a good substitute could be a German "Trocken" or "Halb-Trocken) made from light, slightly aromatic grapes such as Pinot Blanc or Pinot Gris or Sylvaner. The most aromatic will be the Pinot Gris, called Pinot Grigio in Italy. It is slightlu spicy-not as spicy as Gewurztraminer. Alsace also makes good dry Pinot Blanc and Pinot Gris-Alsace is on the French side of the Rhein River across from Baden, Germany. Price will depend on the reputation of the producer. And Austria produces excellent white, sweet, dessert wines that are labeled according to sugar content like German wines, so you can find Austrian Beerenauslese etc. that is wonderful. There are also several red wines from Austria available in the U.S.A.-I had a dry red called Zweigert after the grape variety that was fruity and similar to a Beaujolais in style. Austria's other famous red grapes include: Blaufrankisch and Lemberger. Go into a fine wine store in your area and ask to see these grape varieties from the countries you're interested in and you will find a range of prices and producers.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
Any suggestions for a Valentine's Day sweet sparkling wine?
Answer:
Yes, I do have some suggestions for you and your fiancé as regards a sparkling wine or Champagne that's slightly sweet for Valentine's Day. Have you ever tried ASTI SPUMANTE? It's the very well known sparkling wine from Italy made from white Muscat grapes which make it slightly sweet. It's very moderately priced. My favorite brand is Martini & Rossi, which sells for about $11 on sale. Other good brands are Cinzano and Banfi. Banfi also does a very romantic red Muscat sparkling wine from Italy called BRACHETTO. May be harder to find, but it's delicious and costs about $19. Or you can get a real French Champagne, but don't buy Brut which means dry, buy those labeled "Extra Dry" which is slightly sweeter than Brut. I know it's the opposite of common sense but that is the traditional terminology. All the French Champagnes like Mumm do an Extra Dry for about $20. And in California they also do some Extra Dry style sparkling wines in about $14 price range. Spain also does Extra Dry sparkling wines in the $9 price range. So you have many choices. Enjoy your sweetie and your sweet bubbly!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
What are those "streaks" in my wine?
Answer:
The "streaks" in your wine are called the "legs". They fall like tears on the inside of your wine glass after you have finished swirling. The legs are a visual measure of the viscosity or thickness of the wine, and they are related to the glycerol content of the wine, which is related to the alcohol content, and sugar content or ripeness of the grapes used to make the wine. Wines that are more viscous, with more slowly forming and thicker legs, are said to be heavier in "body". Light bodied wines have virtually no legs and look like water when you swirl them in your glass. So in wine terms, "legs" are an eyeball measure of the "body" of the wine, whether heavy or full-bodied, medium-bodied, or light-bodied. It's a judgment call, that usually only professional tasters are interested in when they rate a wine on a numerical scale. But now you can act like a wine judge and know what you see when you swirl and wait for the legs!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
I eat turkey year round, not just at Thanksgiving. What wines would I serve?
Answer:
With Turkey, you can choose either a red or white wine depending on your preference. Most people who like lighter wines choose a soft white wine such as RIESLING. It does not have to be a sweet Riesling, it can be a drier style, but will have wonderful aromas of apple and peach. The best Rieslings in the world are made in Germany, but there are many good ones made in the U.S. Choose the medium-dry styles such as Kabinett from Germany. As for a red wine, these days everyone prefers again a lighter dry red and I would choose a MERLOT from California to go with your Turkey-- especially if its a roasted bird!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?"
~~ Stephen Wright


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"If all the vine rows in Australia were laid end to end, they would reach nearly to the moon ... but how would we pick the grapes?"
~~ John Wilson


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"A psychologist once said that we know little about the conscience - except that it is soluble in alcohol."
~~ Thomas Blackburn


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I don't drink; I don't like it ~ it makes me feel good."
~~ Oscar Levant


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Could you tell me how long I can keep opened wines?
Answer:
In general you can store red wines with the cork re-inserted in a cool place for several days before it loses its freshness (turns a little vinegary after that). But the best way to store red wines is with a vacuvin. It is a white plastic pump with a gray rubber stopper that cost about $14 in wine stores. You insert the gray stopper in the half full wine bottle and use the plastic pump to take out the air and create a vacuum, thus preserving the wine longer (air oxidizes wine). With this vacuvin, you can keep reds for a week or two and whites can be kept cold in the refrigerator for about as long. If you use the regular cork in white wines that are stored in the refrigerator, they will pick up off odors from the foods in there--so it's better to use the vacuvin. If you cannot find vacuvin, then buy a simple bottle stopper with those porcelain/rubber rings and metal push down closure--every wine or cooking store sells them for less than $1. The only types of wines that cannot be kept fresh with a vacuvin are Champagnes and Sparkling wines because of their bubbles. Once you have enjoyed some of the Champagne or Sparkling wine, you will have to use a metal closure that screws down over the bottle to keep the wine fizzy. They are better than the other type with metal wings that snap down over the bottle. Both can be found in most wine stores.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
To decant or to decant? I am trying to be funny but it seems to be serious business---following all of the regulations regarding the serving of wine. Please instruct me.
Answer:
All wines benefit from decanting, because it aerates the wine, lets it breathe. Only very old red wines should not be exposed to air for very long because they have such a fragile, delicate aroma. Every other type of wine needs air to release the beautiful aromas that have been trapped in the bottle. Professionals decant older red wines or vintage Porto off their sediment and that is the main purpose of decanting for these types of wine that throw a heavy sediment. Here are some other regulations, as you call them, for the proper service of wine.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
Is a Trockenbeerenauslese as sweet as a Sauternes?
Answer:
I once measured the sugar content of a Trockenbeerenaulese compared to maple syrup and found the TBA was about 12% sugar by volume and the maple syrup was 88% sugar! The reason a German TBA never tastes as sweet as a French Sauternes is due to: 1. The TBA is botrytis Riesling grape which usually is very high in acidity that balances the natural grape sugar content and makes it appear less sweet; and 2. The Sauternes is made from botrytis Semillon grapes, which are richer than Riesling and produce more body, more alcohol and more sweetness because of lower acidity. But if you thought the Sauternes too sweet, you will probably appreciate the lower sweetness levels in German wine such as Beerenauslese and Auslese (still sweet enough for dessert).


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
It is so confusing trying to remember what wines go with what foods. Can you give me some simple rules to follow?
Answer:
There really are no longer any hard and fast rules about red wine with meat and white wine with fish. In fact, you can have a light red such as Pinot Noir with grilled salmon, or a full-bodied, oak aged white such as Chardonnay with meat if you wanted. The reason behind the old rules is that most dry, red wines have tannin which when paired with seafood makes it taste metallic and unpleasant. And white wines are usually paired with seafood because they are high in citric acid--the same natural acid as in lemons--and are just like squeezing lemon juice on the fish--makes it taste less fishy and is a perfect complement. In fact, some oak aged Chardonnays are both buttery and lemony, both tastes perfect with fish or seafood. As for chilling--white wines should be served at about the temperature of a normal refrigerator--you can chill them for 2 hours in the fridge before serving or no more than half an hour in ice and water. Red wines are normally served at cool room temperature.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
As a special treat, I am doing a romantic dinner with Crown Roast of Lamb as the main course. I want a special wine to go with it.
Answer:
The classic wine combination for Crown Roast of Lamb is a Cabernet Sauvignon or red Bordeaux wine. But since your recipe marinates the lamb in rosemary and garlic, I would suggest a "warmer" tasting red wine with more of a Mediterranean flavor such as: COTES DU RHONE from France. It is a blend of the red Rhone grapes including Syrah, and is moderately priced at under $15 per bottle. The more expensive version from the Rhone River region in France is called CHATEAUNEUF DU PAPE, and you can find it for $20 and over in most wine stores. Both Rhone reds are spicy, dry, full-bodied red wines. You can also buy SYRAH wines from California such as Stag's Leap from Napa. Another California red wine that makes a perfect partner for your lamb is ZINFANDEL--and you can find many excellent examples in the $15 price range such as: Villa Mt. Eden (delicious, a great value from Napa), Rabbit Ridge, Ravenswood, Roseblum etc. Zinfandel is also a dry red, with spice, black raspberry or blackberry flavors.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"The wine seems to be very closed-in and seems to have entered a dumb stage. Sort of a Marcel Meursault."
~~ Paul Winalski


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Wine experts are of two kinds, gastronomic and intellectual, distinguishable according to whether, on the sight of a bottle they reach for their glass or their glasses."
~~ Thomas McKeown


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
~~ George Best


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded every time we go out to a nice restaurant that we have no idea what we are doing? Why don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?"
~~ Jerry Seinfeld


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"The only time I ever said no to a drink was when I misunderstood the question."
~~ Will Sinclair


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
How do I find out the price of this wine?
Answer:
Readers who discover a dusty old bottle in their cellar often ask me this question (as do those inquisitive types who are given a gift of wine and would like to know how much it’s worth). You can check the web site of your local liquor store or the winery itself. But in the case of older wines, you may want to search the web site of the auction houses, such as Christies and Sothebys, which give the prices paid for mature bottles.


Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.


"I've taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has ever taken from me."
~~ Sir Winston Churchill


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I first drank Sangria in a little Italian restaurant in New York City two years ago, and I immediately fell in love with it, but the restaurant could not, of course, give me the recipe. So, I have been searching for a recipe for a really great Sangria, but have only come across a very generic one out of someone's home cookbook. I know that its main component is wine with a bit of fruit and juice but I haven't a clue as to what the proportions should be! Do you know of any recipes for either Red or White Sangria? If not, could you give me any suggestions of where to look?
Answer:
Love your e-mail nom de plume! Sangria is made like my grandmother from Italy cooked--no recipe, just a bit of this and a bit of that. It's up to individual interpretation in other words. There is a wine still on the market called YAGO Sangria, available in red and white versions. Very inexpensive, in large size bottles too and ready to be served over ice or chilled. My own recipe for Sangria is take a punchbowl or big pitcher, add thin crosswise slices of say two large oranges, pour in one bottle of dry red wine--any will do but originally it was a Spanish red--add a half-pint of brandy--E&J Gallo California will do--but brand is optional, stir, add about 16 oz. of orange juice (necessary if you add the brandy), sugar to taste, give it a good stir and if you want flavors to meld put plastic wrap over the top and put in the refrigerator for a couple hours or overnight, finally add ice cubes just before you're ready to serve. In fact, you can even add the red wine to the orange slices the night before your party, let them soak together overnight in the fridge, and then before your party add all the other ingredients including the ice cubes. P.S. Some recipes add sparkling mineral water--but that can dilute it too much. It should be refreshing without being watery.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"This wine is particularly heavy, and is mostly recommended for hand-to-hand combat."
~~ C. Hacking


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"As far as I am concerned, there are only two types of wine, those I like and those I don't."
~~ The Essential Wine Buff, 1996


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Not all men who drink are poets. Some of us drink because we aren't poets."
~~ Unknown


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I have never been drunk. On occasion, I may have been over-served."
~~ Unknown


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"What is man, when you come to think upon him, but a minutely set, ingenious machine for turning, with infinite artfulness, the red wine of Shiraz into urine?"
~~ Isak Dinesen


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I recently acquired some excellent Spanish wine and noted the term Cosecha on the label of the bottle. Is Cosecha a local name for a grape? I am familiar with the Tempranillo, Garnacha (red) grape varieties.
Answer:
Your Spanish wine knowledge is really good! You know the pertinent facts. Under the D.O. (Denominacion de Origen) wine laws in Spain, COSECHA means harvest in Spanish, and COSECHA is the Vintage Year of the wine. Vino de Cosecha means wine that is at least 85% from the vintage year on the label- -most are 100% from one vintage year if there is a Cosecha on the label. In other words, a Cosecha 1989 wine is vintage year 1989, the year the grapes were harvested. Good Luck with your further studies! By the way, have you tried the Priorat red wines from Spain? They are delicious Garnacha, very upscale.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"A hard drinker, being at table, was offered grapes at dessert. 'Thank you,' said he, pushing the dish away from him, 'but I am not in the habit of taking my wine in pills."
~~ Anthelme Brillat-Savarin


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"If you drink like a fish, don't drive. Swim."
~~ Joe E. Lewis


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
What does it mean to decant wine and how do you do it?
Answer:
Pouring wine from its bottle into some other container: a carafe, a decanter, even a water jug.
  • Make sure the decanter and the mouth of the bottle are clean.
  • To decant a bottle with sediment, first leave it upright for about a day to settle the sediment at the bottom.
  • For the actual pouring process, stand a flashlight on the table so that it shines upwards—it gives stronger light than the classic lit candle. Place the decanter beside it and pour the wine so that the light shines through the neck of the bottle. This will allow you to see when the sediment is approaching, so that you can stop pouring then.
  • Discard the dregs left in the bottle.
  • Leave younger wines in the decanter for about an hour or two, and older wines anywhere from fifteen minutes to a half an hour. Taste the wine periodically to see how it’s opening up. If you decide that the wine has peaked, but the guests aren’t due for a while, drape a cloth over the top of the decanter to slow aeration.


    Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.


  • "Health is what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down."
    ~~ Phyllis Diller


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
    ~~ Tom Waits


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    I have a very traditional Japanese restaurant. Guests want wine with our food, not just sake. What kinds of wine do you recommend with raw fish, deep fried fish, and simmered dishes?
    Answer:
    Some of the best wines with sushi, sashimi (raw fish) are actually from Australia. They include the white, dry, fruity SEMILLON-CHARDONNAY from famous Australia producers such as Penfolds. Called Sem-Chards for short, they are made specifically to go with Asian or Pacific Rim cuisine. Other good wine choices for fried fish dishes include DRY RIESLINGS from Washington State or California such as Hogue or Clos du Bois. For simmered dishes and the fried fish you could also choose a dry red--PINOT NOIR-- especially from Oregon such as Sokol Blosser or from California such as DeLoach. French wines are a bit problematical with Japanese foods, but white, dry ALSACE wines from France, particularly those made from RIESLING or PINOT GRIS or PINOT BLANC grapes will match well. As for French red wines, you might best serve some red Rhone wines such as COTES DU RHONE with your menu items.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk."
    ~~ Lee Entrekin.


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "I shall drink no wine before it is time! OK, it is time."
    ~~ Groucho Marx


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "A good rule is to state that the bouquet is better than the taste and vice versa."
    ~~ Stephen Potter


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink."
    ~~ Fran Lebowitz


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
    ~~ Frank Sinatra


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    How do I find out the price of this wine?
    Answer:
    Readers who discover a dusty old bottle in their cellar often ask me this question (as do those inquisitive types who are given a gift of wine and would like to know how much it’s worth). You can check the web site of your local liquor store or the winery itself. But in the case of older wines, you may want to search the web site of the auction houses, such as Christies and Sothebys, which give the prices paid for mature bottles.


    Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.


    "I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food!"
    ~~ Leslie Duncan


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "Compromises are for relationships, not wine."
    ~~ Sir Robert Scott Caywood


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    Why decant wine?
    Answer:
    Wines are decanted to get rid of sediment, the organic matter that naturally precipitates from the wine as it matures. The wines that throw the most sediment are mature, full-bodied red wines and vintage port. The second reason to decant is to let the wine breathe so that it helps to warm up a wine that’s too cold, soften any harsh tannins and open up its aromatics. This is especially true of rough-and-not-ready reds, particularly young, full-bodied ones: cabernet sauvignon, zinfandel, brunello, barolo, bordeaux, rioja, shiraz, syrah and Northern Rhone wines.


    Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.


    "If I give up drinking, smoking, and fatty foods, I can add ten years to my life. Trouble is, I'll add it to the wrong end."
    ~~ P.J. O'Rourke


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk."
    ~~ Lee Entrekin.


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    What is Shiraz exactly? I have a bottle-what dish should I prepare?
    Answer:
    Shiraz is Australia's name for the Syrah grape, which originates from the Rhone River wine region in France. It is very popular because it's smooth with some black raspberry flavors and lots of spice. A Shiraz is great with any type of barbecue or grilled menu-- from hamburgers to steak, ribs, chicken, pork etc. Prices range from $8-$80+.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning."
    ~~ George Bernard Shaw


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    Can you recommend different types of wines--white vs. red varietals and Champagne--for my wedding? The food selection will be buffet.
    Answer:
    Congratulations! I have helped many brides to be with their wine wedding plans. First there is usually a bar during reception--and what you need is good, but relatively moderate-priced Chardonnay (dry white), Merlot (smooth dry red), and White Zinfandel (blushing pink slightly sweet wine). There are many California brand names that will do such as NAPA RIDGE or TALUS (inexpensive), or CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE or VILLA MT. EDEN (moderate price just over and under $10 a bottle). At the table, when everyone is seated, you will need the same types of wine, but because everyone can look at the labels on the bottles as they are being served, you can use the last two wineries I named or go up one step in price to wineries such as FREEMARK ABBEY, BERINGER, RAVENSWOOD, ST. FRANCIS, CHATEAU ST. JEAN etc. As for the Champagne, you can have one good French Champagne for a single glass toast- Champagne, you can have one good French Champagne for a single glass toast- BRUT LA FRANCAISE, VEUVE CLICQUOT BRUT N.V., ROEDERER BRUT N.V. etc.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    What wine can I cellar so that it will be ready for my daughter's 21st Birthday?
    Answer:
    Wine to cellar for that period of time should be special, and capable of living that long without risk of it turning into vinegar. I got my training in London, and there is this wine gift for a newborn child to put away for 21 years is always a Vintage Porto. Vintage Porto is real Portuguese Porto (the original-note the spelling-all other Ports from other countries are not called or labeled Porto) from a single declared great vintage year that receives only 2 years of barrel aging so it throws a heavy sediment in its black bottle as it ages over many years and will need to be decanted when fully mature-in 15-20+ years after the vintage year on the bottle. The greatest names in Vintage Porto are: Dow's, Graham's, Taylor, Warren's-but there are other such as Fonseca, Quinto do Noval, Smith-Woodhouse, etc. What you want to buy is a recent great vontage such as 1994. Prices usually begin at $40 and go up from there to over $100. Choose your price range and go to a fine wine store with a wine vault and you'll find 1994 Vintage Porto easily.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    I am looking for a few moderately priced wines for everyday use. Could you provide 3 reds and 3 whites? What are your favorite everyday wines?
    Answer:
    The simplest wine questions are always the hardest to answer because I don't know what you like! Do you like very robust, heavy reds-or lighter wines and slightly sweet whites? And you do not specify a price range-- everyone's idea of everyday is different. And just a dollar or two increase in price can make a world of difference in the quality and appeal of the taste. But let me give you six wines based on the assumption you like a range of wines and are talking under $10 a bottle. Best Value for Money = Whites = Chardonnay or Sauvignon Blanc from California/Reds = Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon or Zinfandel = NAPA RIDGE, TALUS, FORESTVILLE, VILLA MT. EDEN, WENTE, GEYSER PEAK, FETZER, CHATEAU SOUVERAIN, BUENA VISTA, QUIVIRA, ST. SUPERY, GUENOC. Good Rieslings which are medium-dry whites that are light and fruity, try CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE (Washington State) or GERMAN RIESLING KABINETT. Best Italian Sangiovese (my favorite smooth red)= BOLLA, RUFFINO "FONTE AL SOLE"; Best Australia Shiraz (another favorite smooth red)= PENFOLDS "Koonunga Hill"; Best Chile Wines = ERRAZURIZ and CALITERRA. Best Spanish reds for price are RIOJA or RIBERA DEL DUERO (any brand). Hope this helps. Go to a fine wine store in your area and they will have lots and lots of brands within these types for under $10. Good Luck!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "I've formed a new group called Alcoholics Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you."
    ~~ Richard Harris


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    I am going to a wine tasting party on Saturday night. I need to bring a white and red wine from NY State. Do you have any suggestions? I also need to bring a food from that state.
    Answer:
    I've always enjoyed the wines from two regions in New York state: The Finger Lakes--especially Chardonnay from Dr. Konstantin Frank; and Long Island--Cabernet Sauvignons from Lenz, Ternhaven, Macari, Bedell are some of the best Cabernets made in America. These are fine, dry wines--forget about those Concord or Catawba sweet native grape wines! Other excellent wine choices from New York state include reds and whites from the Lake Erie and Hudson River wine growing regions. As for food from N.Y., you could cheat and buy any gourmet food item from Dean & Deluca in New York City! Or why not try to find a great New York state Cheddar cheese?


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    Does the shape of the wine glass really make a difference?
    Answer:
    Absolutely--the taste of the wine does change depending on the glasses you use. Professional tasters, when they are blending great French Champagnes for instance, use several different shape glasses to taste each grape variety and vineyard to decide how to blend them together. Each glass shape accentuates certain components of the aroma/taste in the same wines. This was dramatically demonstrated at a Reidel wine glass tasting. Reidel, Austrian crystal company, makes wine glasses in completely different shapes for each grape variety or type of wine--for example they make a Bordeaux/Cabernet Sauvignon glass, White Burgundy/Chardonnay glass, German/Riesling glass etc. We first tasted Riesling in the Chardonnay glass, Pinot Noir in the Cabernet glass--in other words the wines in the wrong glasses and then compared these aromas and tastes when we had them in the correct glasses, i.e. Chardonnay in the Chardonnay glass, Pinot Noir in the Pinot Noir glass etc. What a difference! The Reidel glasses for the appropriate grape made them taste and smell so much better! More intensely flavored aromas, and more complexity and depth in the taste, character and structure of the wines. We asked the Reidel glass company's owner why the shapes made such a difference and he said technically they do not know why! They just know from decades of glass making experience and experiment that these shapes work best for these grapes. I believe the reason they make a difference is the width of the mouth of each glass and the amount of air mixed with the wine as it enters your palate--but it is physics I can hardly understand--just admire!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "On one occasion some one put a very little wine into a glass, and said that it was sixteen years old. 'It is very small for its age,' said Gnathaena."
    ~~ Athenaeus


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    How do I find a wine if it’s not in my wine store?
    Answer:
    Many readers tell me about a fabulous wine they had on vacation or at a friend’s house but couldn’t find in their local wine store. To find a wine, first check the liquor store’s web site, as many have searchable databases that will tell you whether they stock the wine and at which locations. Some chains also have hotlines you can call. If they don’t sell the wine, they may be able to give you the name and phone number of the sales agent who represents it so that you can buy directly. You can also look at the winery’s web site, which often lists local retailers or agents. If not, you can e-mail the general mailbox to ask about them.


    Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.



    Question:
    At big family gatherings whether a sit down dinner or picnic we like to serve ham. Can we keep it simple with the wine?
    Answer:
    Ham will be wonderful with the perfect wine partners. You don't say what kind of wines you like--white or red, dry or sweet--so I'm going to give you several suggestions: 1. Rosé or blushing pink wines do very well with ham. These are light wines and usually medium-dry. Try any brand "White Zinfandel" for a berry flavor, slightly sweet, low alcohol wine you can serve chilled. For a drier style Rosé, you can find "blanc de noir" sparkling wines and regular wines from California such as Chandon "Blanc de Noir" sparkling or Simi Rose of Cabernet. There are also several French dry Rosés such as Guigal "Tavel Rosé" 1997 $17 or Domaine Sorin Rosé from Cotes du Rhone 1998 $12. 2. If you want a white wine, choose either a German Riesling Kabinett, which will not be too sweet and delicious with ham; or for a drier white wine choose a California Sauvignon Blanc such as St. Supery or Quivira "Fig Tree" or Guenoc. 3. If you prefer a red wine, either a Gamay Beaujolais from California or a Zinfandel (this black grape can make either the blush pink wine or dry red wine) such as Ridge Coast Range II about $13.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "There's too much blood in my alcohol system."
    ~~ Anonymous


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "A mind of the calibre of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows."
    ~~ George Bernard Shaw


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "I have made an important discovery... that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication."
    ~~ Oscar Wilde


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    When I went into the store to buy sweet red wines for after dinner, I was told by the clerk that most red wines were dry. Am I clueless or are they?
    Answer:
    You're not clueless, they are! Yes, over 90% of red wines are dry, so finding a fruity, slightly sweet one takes some thinking. But PORTO is one of the world's greatest sweet reds, and it is definitely an after dinner dessert wine. Best types are "Vintage" Porto, which is the most expensive, but more reasonably priced is "Ruby Porto" or "Late Bottled Vintage" or other red Portos such as Graham's Six Grapes etc. Porto will be sweet red, high in alcohol at 20%. But if you want a lighter red wine that is only slightly sweet, then may I recommend a couple of other wines: LAMBRUSCO Red wine from Italy is a very high volume selling wine in the U.S. and refreshing from slight fizzy quality and can be served chilled and its inexpensive--try the Riunite red. The same company also does a red sparkling wine from Brachetto grapes called: BRACHETTO d' ACQUI from Italy. It's in the $24 price range. Lambrusco is only $5 per bottle. Most Ruby Porto from Portugal starts at $15 per bottle. Other famous sweet red wines include: Banyuls from France, Mavrodaphne from Greece and Recioto della Valpolicella from Italy.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "My idea of a fine wine was one that merely stained your teeth without stripping the enamel."
    ~~ Clive James


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    I have been interested in wine for about a year and have tried several different varietals and have seemed to plateau at my current level of understanding. Any suggestions? I also manage in the restaurant business so I am curious about new ways to describe wine to my employees as well.
    Answer:
    Just when you think you've had all the varietals available-new ones come out! For instance, California now accepts 8 red Bordeaux varieties for Meritage red wines: Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Malbec, Cabernet Franc, Petit Verdot, Gros Verdot, St. Macaire and Carmenere. Even I never knew St. Macaire was a separate grape. I did know Carmenere was grown in Chile where it is sometimes mistaken for Merlot, but I never knew it was the oldest of the Bordeaux grapes and has now, after 10 years effort, been brought to the U.S. and successfully grown at Guenoc Winery in Lake County, CA. So, you see there is always something new to learn.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    What are some inexpensive whites and reds under $15?
    Answer:
    It would take pages to give you some white and red wines under $15--there are literally dozens and dozens I could recommend. Before I can answer your question I need to know whether you like dry wines or medium dry or slightly sweet? Do you like heavy wines or light? Do you prefer classic French wines or California? Also, I do not know what is available in your area, wherever that is. So let me just assume you like dry white and red wines from any country. In which case, wines just under $15 can include the following types: 1. Australia "Shiraz"--deliciously smooth, dry red and the most famous grape (really the Syrah grape) in Australia--a good one is always the Rosemount, Greg Norman, Hardy's, WaterWheel "Bendigo" etc. 2. California "Sauvignon Blanc" as a change from Chardonnay, this white grape makes a lighter style white, dry wine with a citrusy, grapefruit aroma and taste that is very good with a wide range of foods. Brands I recommend include: St. Supery, Groth, Buena Vista etc. Even New Zealand Sauvignon Blancs are world famous, so try one of those too such as Cloudy Bay, or Geisen. Go to a fine wine store in your area and ask them to help you find these types of wine--they'll have many brand names in your price.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    I would just like to know what is your favorite casual wine?
    Answer:
    Well, I love red wines, so I drink them even on casual occasions--though I love the best of every type of wine, i.e. great French Champagne; French White & Red Burgundy; definitely Red Bordeaux; Rhone reds; Italian Sangiovese, Amarone and Barolo; California Cabernet Sauvignons, Meritage reds and Zinfandels; and Australia Shiraz etc. The best values for casual drinking among these are: Australia Shiraz, Italian Sangiovese, California Cabernet and Zinfandel, Spanish reds and French Cotes du Rhone--all good everyday reds. P.S. My Italian parents always had red wine on the table when I was growing up--and made homemade red wine too-and I got my wine training in London where I practiced drinking the great French, Italian, Spanish red wines. Everyone's palate is different, so drink whatever gives you the most pleasure, though that changes over time.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "The only thing that should come between people and wine is the cork."
    ~~ Andrea Immer


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    Since I have become a vegetarian I cannot drink heavy wines. I am making a special polenta main course with a wild mushroom sauce that has port wine in it, what would you recommend as the wine partner?
    Answer:
    Your vegetarian meal sounds delicious. I would choose a red since you are using port in the mushroom sauce. However, you do not want to overpower the polenta since it has no heavy meat, so I'd suggest a dry, red with some deep concentration of fruit such as a MERLOT (which is very smooth and the most popular red wine)--you can find many examples in any good wine store, most will be from wineries in California. Choose your price range and they will find one for you!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "The best use of bad wine is to drive away poor relations."
    ~~ French proverb


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober."
    ~~ William Butler Yeats


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    I am an event planner and I'm doing a dinner in New Orleans at Bella Lunas. I am going with Ferrari-Carano Chardonnay for the white, but I need some suggestions for the red. The meal will be a sit down surf n turf (filet and salmon). The group is very particular (they're in the food and beverage business!). I want the wine to be nice but stay in the $40-$60 a bottle range.
    Answer:
    I do a lot of corporate wine dinners myself, so I understand your need to have a blockbuster red for your salmon/filet mignon dinner at Bella Lunas in New Orleans. You have chosen one of my all-time favorite Chardonnays in the Ferrari-Carano. Good for you! Ferrari Carano also does one of the greatest reds in California = "Siena" = Sangiovese/Cabernet blend that is so elegant. I have served it for wine dinners for big time law firms and American Bar Association and they loved it. It usually sells for $40 in retail stores. However, if you want to use a different winery--I'd select Luce which is another "Super Tuscan" blend of Sangiovese and Cabernet from the joint venture of Robert Mondavi and Frescobaldi of Italy. It sells in retail stores for $60 a bottle. There are other "Super Tuscans" from Italy too such as "Avignonesi", Antinori's "Solaia" or "Tignanello", or Banfi's "Summus". The only other grape variety I would recommend for both Salmon and Filet is a PINOT NOIR--and there are excellent examples from Oregon such as Domaine Drouhin, Erath, Eyrie, and Sokol Blosser. Another is Beaux Freres made by Robert Parker the very famous wine writer of the Wine Advocate and his brother.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    Can you recommend different types of wines--white vs. red varietals and Champagne--for my wedding? The food selection will be buffet.
    Answer:
    Congratulations! I have helped many brides to be with their wine wedding plans. First there is usually a bar during reception--and what you need is good, but relatively moderate-priced Chardonnay (dry white), Merlot (smooth dry red), and White Zinfandel (blushing pink slightly sweet wine). There are many California brand names that will do such as NAPA RIDGE or TALUS (inexpensive), or CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE or VILLA MT. EDEN (moderate price just over and under $10 a bottle). At the table, when everyone is seated, you will need the same types of wine, but because everyone can look at the labels on the bottles as they are being served, you can use the last two wineries I named or go up one step in price to wineries such as FREEMARK ABBEY, BERINGER, RAVENSWOOD, ST. FRANCIS, CHATEAU ST. JEAN etc. As for the Champagne, you can have one good French Champagne for a single glass toast- Champagne, you can have one good French Champagne for a single glass toast- BRUT LA FRANCAISE, VEUVE CLICQUOT BRUT N.V., ROEDERER BRUT N.V. etc.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far away, but I will walk carefully."
    ~~ Old Russian Proverb


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "All wines have nutritional value, if you don't buy, we don't eat."
    ~~ Sign in a restaurant


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life."
    ~~ Michelle Mastrolacasa


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "My uncle was the town drunk—and we lived in Chicago."
    ~~ George Gobel


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "That which belongs to another."
    ~~ Diogenes, when asked what wine he liked to drink.


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "There are more old drunkards than old doctors."
    ~~ French


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    How does one tell if a bottle of wine is from the Burgundy region or from Bordeaux if it does not tell you on the label?
    Answer:
    Ah, there's the rub! They do tell you on French wine labels whether it's a Bordeaux or Burgundy by giving you the "Appellation Controllee" or controlled name of origin which is a place name. But you have to be able to recognize the place names as coming from either Bordeaux or Burgundy. That's why I spend so much time on French wines when I teach Wine School-- you have to familiarize yourself with a lot of place names, i.e. districts, communes, vineyards. But here is a secret shortcut just for you. Look at the shape of the bottles--the Bordeauxs are always in tall, high-shouldered bottles called Bordeaux bottles and that's why even in California or Australia they use the same shape Bordeaux bottle for Bordeaux grapes such as Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot or Sauvignon Blanc. And the Burgundy shape bottle in France is always squatter with sloping shoulders--and that again is why all over the world they use Burgundy shape bottles for the Burgundy grapes Chardonnay and Pinot Noir. Also, at the bottom of the wine labels, you can look for the word "Bordeaux" or "Bourgogne (Burgundy) or Cote d'Or (the best district in Burgundy)" as the location of the producer. This should help you considerably!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    I am worried about sulfites in wine. Do all wines have sulfites? Will they give me a headache
    Answer:
    All wines contain sulfites (sulfur dioxide) as a natural by-product of fermentation, and very few contain less than the 20 parts per million of sulfites that requires a "contains sulfites" label under FDA rules for wine. Certain wine companies used to make a wine labeled "sulfite free", but quickly took them off the market because of problems with deterioration. Without a minimum amount of sulfites-usually 60 ppm total natural and added-wine will oxidize quickly and turn brown and possibly become prey to bacterial spoilage since sulfites prevent this. Even organic wines have sulfites from the fermentation even if they don't add more. I don't know of any wine that is sulfite free. The wines that have the least amount of sulfites added, however, are good, dry robust red wines because they have so much natural tannin from their black grape skins as a preservative that they don't need to add as much sulfites. Wines that have the most sulfites added are wines coolers and bulk processed light white wines. You can sometimes smell the "sulfur"--rotten egg or burnt match smell--in these types of wine from the sulfites. Too much sulfites ruins the aroma of a good or great wine, so winemakers never want to add too much. Remember, sulfites do not cause headaches-rather they restrict or constrict nasal passages, which can affect asthmatics or borderline asthmatics. Our own bodies produce sulfites every day, and many foods contain sulfites-some more than wine, such as concentrated lemon and lime juice.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    Is there a good, inexpensive wine similar to Chateauneuf du Pape?
    Answer:
    That's easy! Chateauneuf du Pape is a famous French Rhone wine, and the red is made from Syrah grapes blended with other grapes such as Grenache, Mourvedre etc. So those in the know buy French COTES DU RHONE red wine because it is always about $10 a bottle and made from the same grapes.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "Wine is the reason I get up every afternoon."
    ~~ Anonymous


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    I read some years ago of a Rhine Valley wine made from, I believe, raisins. It went by the moniker of TBA, an abbreviation of the longer German name that was a mouthful of 10+ letters. It's dessert wine I think. Can you help?
    Answer:
    A TROCKENBEERENAUSLESE German wine is abbreviated TBA. It is the most costly, rarest and sweetest of the six German "Pradikat" highest quality wines--that are never artificially sweetened or blended--and can only be made in great vintage years when there is enough sunshine several weeks past the normal harvest time for the grapes to be shriveled to "raisins" by the sun and the "noble rot" fungus called "botrytis" which occurs naturally. That's a mouthful! And a Trockenbeerenauslese is quite a delicious mouthful of sweet, golden-colored, honey flavored (from the botrytis) dessert wine--one of the greatest in the world. Usually sold in small half-bottles because it is expensive. It literally is dessert--and is served chilled, and sipped out of small glasses after a meal or with bread pudding, pecan pie, pound cake and fruit, crème caramel etc. Go to any fine wine store and look in their locked wine vault. The U.S. and other countries make a similar wine but cannot call it by the German name so look for the RIESLING grape, and the English words: "Select Late Harvest" or Botrytis on the label. It will still be rare and expensive.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    My heritage is Italian and I love pasta, but know nothing about Italian wines. Is there a shortcut to choosing the right wines for pasta?
    Answer:
    The sauce on the pasta determines what type of wine to choose. For instance, white clam sauce or pesto sauces are best with white wines such as Pinot Grigio or Gavi or Italian Chardonnay or Sauvignon Blanc etc. Red clam sauce or marinara sauces with sausage and peppers are best with red wines such as SANGIOVESE which is the famous red grape of Tuscany used in Chianti, Brunello, Rosso di Montalcino etc. Other great Italian red wines with pasta are Montepulciano d'Abruzzi, Barbaresco or Gattinara from the Piedmont, and Taurasi from Campania or Sicilian red wines etc. If you haven't tried a Sangiovese red, you owe it to yourself to buy one--even Bolla has one at $8 a bottle and there are many, many moderate price versions from Italy and lots of good ones slightly higher-priced from California. Best thing to do is visit a fine wine store and ask the wine consultant to give you a lesson on Italian wines as you are looking at the bottles and labels.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    A number of red wines have a certain quality I don't like. They make my tongue dry and bitter.
    Answer:
    The sensations you describe on your tongue are both from the "tannin" in wines. Tannin is the same tannic acid found in a cup of strong tea. It is a natural preservative in wine and most of it comes from black grape skins-- so red wines, especially when young have the most tannin. Tannin gives an astringent taste and also a dry sensation on the tongue-so it is both a taste and a tactile sensation. Wines that are aged in oak barrels also pick up wood tannin--and this is usually the only source of tannin in white wines. To summarize, if you don't like the taste of tannin in wines, then choose either light white wines that are not oaky, such as Riesling, Pinot Blanc, Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Grigio which are called "soft" wines, or light red wines with little tannin such as Gamay Beaujolais, Dolcetto, Lambrusco and Pinot Noir. Also, medium-bodied dry, red wines with soft tannins such as Merlot, Sangiovese or Shiraz are very popular exactly because they are smoother, less astringent wines. Avoid the blockbuster reds such as Cabernet Sauvignon, which have the most tannin. But that's the good thing about tannin--it allows the best red wines to live for many years in the bottle. It also has been shown to help keep your arteries clear. Many Europeans learn to like the taste of tannin by mixing half red wine and half non-sparkling mineral water. And those that can afford it buy much older red wine collector's items because their tannins have precipitated out as sediment and the wines will taste much smoother than when they were young.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "It's a cheap party if you have to drink beer in wine glasses!"
    ~~ Alfred Molina,


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    Can I buy a good bottle of Champagne for $100?
    Answer:
    You most certainly can buy a respectable bottle of Champagne. All of the following are Brut (very dry) and Vintage dated (from single vintage year declared great). Here are my favorites: Alfred Gratien "Cuvee Paradis", Taittinger "Comte de Champagne" Blanc de Blanc, Veuve Clicquot "La Grande Dame", Dom Perignon, Perrier-Jouet "Fleur de Champagne", Louis Roederer Cristal, Mumm "Rene Lalou", Heidsieck "Diamant Blu", Pol Roger "Winston Churchill", Pommery "Cuvee Louise".
    Answer:
    Making good wine at home is more difficult than making beer. My suggestion is that you look in the yellow pages for your city and find a beer & winemaking supplies store. We have one called "Wine Art" in Atlanta. They can give you great advice on how to turn grapes into wine--plus sell you the equipment. There are also local beer/wine making clubs I'm sure-we have several. Look on the Internet too for resources. You don't say what kind of grapes you will be using--it makes a big difference in the kind of wine you can make. My Grandparents made wine in a cellar just like they did in Italy from fresh Zinfandel grapes sent from California at harvest time. To make good tasting wine you need help!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    My husband bought a bottle of Muscat because the bottle looked nice and displayed nicely. What do I serve with that kind of wine?
    Answer:
    Muscat is known the world over as a light to medium bodied, sweet white wine. It can range in sweetness from slight to very sweet dessert style. You don't mention what country or what winery your Muscat originates from, so I am not sure exactly how sweet your particular bottle will be. However, the best food matches for most Muscat wines are: 1. Barbecue Sauce (sweet red sauce version) on any meat; 2. Sweet & Sour Chinese food; 3. Pineapple or Apple Upside Down Cake or any Pound Cake with Fruit topping; 4. Crème Caramel or Flan; 5. Almond or Hazelnut Cookies or Biscotti or Torte; Orange Tart, Macaroons, Fig Newtons, Pumpkin Pie!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    Can I use my basement to store wines? It is pretty cool.
    Answer:
    Your basement could be very good for wine storage. The recommended temperature is in the range of 55-65 degrees F., and the recommended humidity is in the range of 60-75%. What really does damage to wine are bright, fluorescent lights; mold & odors; vibration, and extremes of temperature-if the temperature goes below 40 degrees F. you could cause tartrate crystals to precipitate out of your wines, and above 75 degrees F. you would age (i.e. oxidize) your wines more quickly.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    I have a recipe for Venison Loin that calls for a Claret wine. Where I live wine is not a big deal. Can you tell me about it? I haven't found it yet.
    Answer:
    Claret is the name for any red Bordeaux wine blended from the Bordeaux black grapes Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Cabernet Franc, Malbec, and Petit Verdot etc. They also use the name Claret for some California red wines that are blended like a Bordeaux from the same grapes. Claret or red Bordeaux wines are very: dry, concentrated, oaky, deeply berry flavored, and complex. They are the type of red wines used in sauce "Bordelaise" which means Bordeaux sauce used on Tournedos of Beef. Claret or red Bordeaux style wines are definitely main course wines perfect with Crown Roast of Lamb or Venison or Filet Mignon etc. In California, many upscale versions are called a "Meritage" red wine, which is their name for a red, or white Bordeaux blend. Even if you only have one wine store in your area that sells some good wine, you will be able to find a French red Bordeaux-- inexpensive ones include MOUTON CADET, or MEDOC or HAUT MEDOC--or the California versions which can be labeled simply: CABERNET SAUVIGNON (after the main grape), or MERITAGE RED or CLARET. Again, these can also be anywhere from inexpensive to moderately priced to expensive. You choose your price range.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    What is ice wine and how and when should it be served?
    Answer:
    Eiswein is the German name for "ice wine". This means it is made in vintage years when it actually snows on the grapes and freezes them solid. By law the grapes have to be crushed while they are still frozen and the ice crystals hold the water and allow the sweet natural grape juice alone to go into fermentation. This produces one of the world's greatest dessert wines, and is rare and costly. Most German Eiswein is made from Riesling grapes, and is sold in half-bottles. It should be served chilled in small, clear glasses after dinner as a dessert. If you do serve a dessert along side it, choose simple pound cake with fruit, shortbread cookies, creme caramel or bread pudding. Ice wine is also made in Canada, New York and California. The ATF of the U.S. government does not allow the use of the German word Eiswein on the label, so it will be called "ice wine" in English or "vin glaciere" in French.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "Bartender, I'd like whatever the man on the floor was drinking."
    ~~ Unknown


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop."
    ~~ Noel Coward


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "Never accept a drink from a urologist."
    ~~ Erma Bombeck


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "If you want to become a rich, pretentious snot – and who doesn't? – you should learn about wine."
    ~~ Dave Barry


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "I've got a drinking problem - two hands and only one mouth."
    ~~ Unknown


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    I've heard that wine ages faster in splits than in regular 750ml bottles. Is there a rule of thumb I can use for determining how long after the vintage a split will last?
    Answer:
    The saying that wine ages more quickly in smaller size bottles such as splits came about because for French Champagne they decant the wine from larger bottles into smaller bottles and thereby lose some of the fizz and let air get to the wine. That's why many splits of any sparkling wine from any country are usually somewhat flat, and do not age well at all. It is not quite so bad for red wines because reds wines have more natural tannin or preservative from their black grape skins, and the wineries that make half-bottles of red wine usually fill and age them the same as they do the larger bottles without decanting. The same may be true of the better white wines in half-bottles such as Chardonnay or white Burgundy from France-- however white wines age more quickly than reds anyway. So there is no hard rule of thumb as to how long any of the "splits" or "half-bottles" will last--the longest lasting being the fine red wines such as Cabernet Sauvignon or Bordeaux in half-bottles, then oak-aged white wines in half bottles. By the way, it costs a winery almost as much money for the glass bottle and cork in the half size as it does for their full size bottles, so wineries have to charge a premium price for these smaller bottles. It really is better to buy the regular size 750 ml bottle and then use a vacuvin or stopper to preserve it until you drink the bottle glass by glass.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "I have it on the highest medical authority that I will still be alive at the turn of the century! She is thrilled. ''You know what this means?'' she asks. Of course I know what it means. It means we do not have to drink up all our 1985 and 1986 Chateau Latour at supper tonight for fear I might die with several outrageously priced wines undrunk. For the first time in years, we can go to bed sober.""
    ~~ (From The New York Times, May 12 1990.)


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
    ~~ Henny Youngman


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    How much wine is wine in "moderation"?
    Answer:
    Our own Dept. of Agriculture promotes a diet that includes wine in moderation. They define that to mean one 4-ounce glass per day for women and up to two 4-ounce glasses per day for men. The difference in gender is actually a difference in average body size. However, they limit the total number of glasses of wine per week to about 5 for women and 7 or 8 for men. Even I don't drink wine every single day!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and w