"I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on."
~~ Oscar Levant

Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner

"I don't have a drink problem except when I can't get one."
~~ Tom Waits

Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner

"I don’t drink anymore – just the same amount."
~~ Joe. E. Lewis

Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner

"Health is what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down."
~~ Phyllis Diller

Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner

"Filmmaker/winemaker Francis Ford Coppola says the two professions are almost the same and that each depends on source material and takes a lot of time to perfect. The big difference: Today’s winemakers still worry about quality."
~~ Arizona Republic, January 22, 1998.

Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner

"Dinner at the Huntercombes' possessed only two dramatic features — the wine was a farce and the food a tragedy."
~~ Anthony Powell

Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner

"Called up the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms regional office and asked, What wine goes best with an M-16?" The guy who answered did his best to be helpful: "That depends. What are you smoking?"""
~~ Michael Maciolek

Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner

"It's all right, the white wine came up with the fish."
~~ Herman J. Mankiwicz (sp?) after getting sick at a formal dinner.

Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner

"It's a naïve wine without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."
~~ James Thurber

Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner

"It seems that researchers at Colorado University say wine may help people lose weight. It's not the wine directly that causes the weight loss, it's all the walking around you do trying to find your car."
~~ Jay Leno

Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner

"It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office."
~~ Shirley MacLaine

Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner

"I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved."
~~ Rose Kennedy on her 100th birthday

Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner