Local Event
Warning! 3 Of A Kind Appearing At Blend Of Seven Winery Fri 6/22, 7 - 9:30
Fri, June 22, 2018 (7:00 PM - 9:30 PM)
Cost: Free except for wine and food purchases
Hey grape group
This is a public safety announcement to all concerned citizens who receive this bulletin.
The treacherous trio of trashy tunes, terrible treblings and tacky tomfoolery, 3 of a Kind, have escaped from their kindergarten reform school and are on the loose in your area. Sightings have been reported at Hop Sing's Chinese Noodle Factory, Fast Eddie's Taco Stand and Car Wash, and Aunt Lulu's Rinse and Spin laundromat and whisky bar.
You are advised to keep the children safely locked up at home and cautiously proceed to Blend of Seven Winery, 1400 Stratford Road, this Friday. The suspects are rumored to possibly appear there between 7 and 9:30 PM disguised as professional musicians.
Sandi and Steve Weddington will be hiring special security and installing high impact screening that night to protect unsuspecting patrons from shattered flying fragments of off-key notes from improperly tuned guitars as well as issuing protective earware to prevent permanent hearing loss from loud, misguided puns.
Authorities are hoping to have these dangerous malcontents back in their reform school in time for their afternoon naps later today. To keep updated on this and other breaking news, please dial 1-800 - 946 - 22737 (that's 1 - 800 - WHO - CARES)
We hope to see you safely there!
