Our wine tasting for February is not just about hearts and flowers—it's about handcuffs and leather...as well as silk, satin, cashmere and a black star that may or may not be attached to the end of a whip. We would love your company to help you plan a romantic (and slightly naughty) Valentine's Day 2018. Why don't you join us on Saturday, February 10th at 3 p.m. to get some pointers, and to discover whether you're naughty or nice.

We want to start out nice, so you'll be charmed and distracted by our manners. While we wait for everyone to arrive, I want you to enjoy a flute of Cavicchioli 1928 Rosé Spumante Dolce (Italy). Made from 100% Lambrusco grapes, this pretty wine is fresh and fruity with the sweet, slightly spicy and aromatic taste of red fruit. I think of this wine as a little game of innocent slap and tickle, so I've paired this pour with an innocent amuse bouche of honeycrisp apple slices and a bleu cheese/celery spread on gorgeous red Belgian endive leaves, all showered with toasted hazelnuts. Just a little luxury to set the mood.

When we gather at the table, I want to initiate you with Fifty Shades of Grey Silk (California). Little did you FSoG fans know that there was a companion white wine (that was probably intended for all those book clubs that sprung up when the novel first appeared). The sommelier reviews on this wine at Vanity Fair are nothing if not amusing—I had quite the giggle reading them. But nonetheless, I thought it was only appropriate that we introduce to you your darker side. Let's just say that this pour (and a little extra surprise I'm planning for you later on in the tasting) might be the gateway to BDSM. You'll note honey, flowers, and fruits with a tinge of citrus peppered throughout; other reviews note lychee, pear, grapefruit and mineral with a faint hint of butterscotch. All appropriate in the boudoir. This white wine is a blend of Gewürztraminer and Sauvignon Blanc. What could we possibly pair with a wine like this? A seductive and lush wine like Silk calls for a spicy, gingery Vietnamese Shredded Chicken Salad that whips your tastebuds into submission with Thai chiles and stings your consciousness with its fresh, vibrant herbs and plenty of garlic. I know you want it--you're drooling already.

Our next tryst is with Cline Cashmere Red Blend (California). This is a Rhône-style blend that has a seductively smooth mouthfeel and rich chocolaty flavors. Grenache, Mourvèdre and Petit Sirah integrate perfectly with deep flavors of cherries, berries and hints of peppery spice. I've chosen to couple this wine with a sexy Salmon Filet with Chocolate and Orange Peel Rub. The filet is lovingly massaged with a warm, rich rub (rubbed the right way, I might add) with just enough chipotle pepper to hold your interest. Served with alluring orange-and-garlic-kissed asparagus, I know you'll be satisfied.

Ready for more? Love Noir Satin Red (California) is sultry, fruit forward and enticing. A blend of Zinfandel, Merlot and Petite Syrah, its richness and decadence are balanced with supple structure to form layers of luxurious flavor from the first tempting sip to the last. Dark cherry, fresh raspberry and a hint of mocha spark intensity and intrigue, culminating in a smooth and silky finish. The winemaker believes that everyone has a darker side that is racier and edgier, so we should make fireworks with the food pairing. Come hither. I'll be gentle since it's your first time. And bang! Blackberry-Jalapeno Glazed Pork Tenderloin. Sweet, spicy, tender and arguably, some of the best oral pleasure you'll experience. Savor this delectable pairing with rich, creamy polenta. That should bring on the fireworks, alright.

If you still have the energy and imagination, we can have dessert: Il Conte Stella Rosa Black (Italy) gently coaxes you to slip into your sexy and seductive side with a sultry semi-sweet, semi-sparkling red blend. Blackberry, blueberry and raspberry flavors explode on the tongue while bubbles tickle you gently. I know you'll be rejuvenated in time for a piece of Dark Chocolate Black Walnut Cake, a rich, dense and ultra-chocolaty treat that never disappoints. How was it for you? This cake is so good that not only you will reach for a cigarette afterward, so will the neighbors. Then bask in the afterglow of a bottomless cup of Community Coffee before you call Uber and skip out.