Tidbits: Wine Humor - FAQS



Tidbits: Wine Humor - FAQS


Question:
What wine can I cellar so that it will be ready for my daughter's 21st Birthday?
Answer:
Wine to cellar for that period of time should be special, and capable of living that long without risk of it turning into vinegar. I got my training in London, and there is this wine gift for a newborn child to put away for 21 years is always a Vintage Porto. Vintage Porto is real Portuguese Porto (the original-note the spelling-all other Ports from other countries are not called or labeled Porto) from a single declared great vintage year that receives only 2 years of barrel aging so it throws a heavy sediment in its black bottle as it ages over many years and will need to be decanted when fully mature-in 15-20+ years after the vintage year on the bottle. The greatest names in Vintage Porto are: Dow's, Graham's, Taylor, Warren's-but there are other such as Fonseca, Quinto do Noval, Smith-Woodhouse, etc. What you want to buy is a recent great vontage such as 1994. Prices usually begin at $40 and go up from there to over $100. Choose your price range and go to a fine wine store with a wine vault and you'll find 1994 Vintage Porto easily.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer."
~~ Clement Freud


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts."
~~ Finley Peter Dunne


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I don't drink because I have problems or I want to escape. I just love drinking and being drunk."
~~ Richard Harris


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure."
~~ Ambrose Bierce


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"A good rule is to state that the bouquet is better than the taste and vice versa."
~~ Stephen Potter


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"It's a naïve wine without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."
~~ James Thurber


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"The wine seems to be very closed-in and seems to have entered a dumb stage. Sort of a Marcel Meursault."
~~ Paul Winalski


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
How much wine is wine in "moderation"?
Answer:
Our own Dept. of Agriculture promotes a diet that includes wine in moderation. They define that to mean one 4-ounce glass per day for women and up to two 4-ounce glasses per day for men. The difference in gender is actually a difference in average body size. However, they limit the total number of glasses of wine per week to about 5 for women and 7 or 8 for men. Even I don't drink wine every single day!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"My idea of a fine wine was one that merely stained your teeth without stripping the enamel."
~~ Clive James


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
How do I find a wine if it’s not in my wine store?
Answer:
Many readers tell me about a fabulous wine they had on vacation or at a friend’s house but couldn’t find in their local wine store. To find a wine, first check the liquor store’s web site, as many have searchable databases that will tell you whether they stock the wine and at which locations. Some chains also have hotlines you can call. If they don’t sell the wine, they may be able to give you the name and phone number of the sales agent who represents it so that you can buy directly. You can also look at the winery’s web site, which often lists local retailers or agents. If not, you can e-mail the general mailbox to ask about them.


Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.


"It's a cheap party if you have to drink beer in wine glasses!"
~~ Alfred Molina,


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
How do I find out the price of this wine?
Answer:
Readers who discover a dusty old bottle in their cellar often ask me this question (as do those inquisitive types who are given a gift of wine and would like to know how much it’s worth). You can check the web site of your local liquor store or the winery itself. But in the case of older wines, you may want to search the web site of the auction houses, such as Christies and Sothebys, which give the prices paid for mature bottles.


Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.


"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~~ Henny Youngman


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Spicy food is never too hot for me. I like jalapeno and chili peppers. Will I be able to find a wine to go with this type of Mexican food?
Answer:
There is spicy--and then there is spicy! I like Merlot from Chile, or Malbec from Argentina--both fairly smooth dry reds. But when you "crank it up a notch" and add more peppers-as in Thai or Indian food too--then I choose a more peppery red wine such as French Cotes du Rhone, Syrah from CA or Shiraz from Australia. White spicy wines include Pinot Grigio from Italy.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"The only time I ever said no to a drink was when I misunderstood the question."
~~ Will Sinclair


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I'm 26 and don't have much experience with wine aside from a few winery tours. I have a friend from Germany who'll be visiting me next week, and she'll be staying for about a week. With theatre tickets and such, I'm on a tight budget, so I'd like to get a couple bottles of wine, but I'd rather not spend more than $20 apiece. Can you suggest a red and a white that don't taste like a run-of-the-mill bottle and that I would be able to find at a regular wine/liquor store? I'm in D.C., so I should be able to find most brands.
Answer:
I'm sure you will have a great time with your friend. Since she is from Germany, I can tell you right away--don't serve her German wine since that's what she can gets everyday at home! Germany doesn't produce much red wine--only 10%--so definitely get a couple good red wines to serve her. My suggestion is to go with reds that are not too tannic or astringent, such as the ever-popular MERLOT. My favorite brands from California in the $20 price range include: Lambert Bridge, Markham, St. Supery, and DeLoach. There are many others that your local fine wine stores in D.C. can recommend. Merlot is served at room temperature. Then I would choose a good dry, white wine just in case she likes white wines a lot. Why not a good Chardonnay from California such as Kunde "Kinneybrook" or Guenoc or Chalk Hill? Chill the Chardonnay 2 hrs. in the refrigerator or 30 mins. In ice and water. And always have an extra bottle on hand in case one is bad, or you run out!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"I haven't touched a drop of alcohol since the invention of the funnel."
~~ Malachy McCourt


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
How can I make wine my career?
Answer:
There are a number of careers in wine: winemakers, viticulturalists (vineyard managers), winery restaurant chefs, marketers, public relations managers (either at a winery or with a firm that specializes in the wine industry), accountants, general managers, winery owners, investors, retailers, importers, buyers, sommeliers, auctioneers, consultants, tour operators, accessory store managers, events organizers, tasting room managers and writers.

Think carefully about what skills you have and what type of work you like because these jobs vary dramatically in what they entail. Think too of considerations such as hours, pay and credentials required. I’ve written about winemakers and sommeliers (you can find these in my Articles section). For these and other careers, your best bet is talk to someone already doing that job and to shadow them for a day or two.


Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.


"Filmmaker/winemaker Francis Ford Coppola says the two professions are almost the same and that each depends on source material and takes a lot of time to perfect. The big difference: Today’s winemakers still worry about quality."
~~ Arizona Republic, January 22, 1998.


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I have long heard that the best wines in the world are French, and that in the four major classifications they are Romanee-Conti (red burgundy), Chateau Lafite Rothschild (red bordeaux), Le Montrachet (white burgundy), and Chateau d'YQuem (white bordeaux). Would you agree?
Answer:
The only reason people get away with even discussing the "top" French wines is that unlike our U.S.A. wine laws, the French government wine laws actually have official "rankings" of certain types of French wines. They rank red Bordeaux wines from the Medoc for instance and have 5 chateaux that rate in the highest category: Ch. Lafite-Rothschild, Ch. Mouton- Rothschild, Ch. Latour, Ch. Margaux, Ch. Haut-Brion. All five are of equivalent quality--so no Lafite is not the only top rated red Bordeaux. Same goes for the classification of Sauternes from Bordeaux--Ch. d'Yquem is the only Sauternes rated above the others however, so yes, it is for Sauternes (not for all white Bordeaux because Graves has its own classification). As for Romanee-Conti, yes it is rated a "Grand Cru" single vineyard in Burgundy, but there are 29 other vineyards rated "Grand Cru" in the Cote d'Or best part of Burgundy where it's located. But it is certainly one of the most costly red Burgundies and with great collector's value. And finally, Le Montrachet is also one of the 30 "Grand Cru" single vineyards in the Cote d'Or of Burgundy. But among white Burgundy wines, yes it is considered to be the rarest and most costly collector's item among the great white Burgundies. Go into a fine wine store with a temperature- controlled wine vault to find them.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"The secret to a long life is to stay busy, get plenty of exercise and don't drink too much. Then again, don't drink too little."
~~ Hermann Smith-Johannson, 103-year-old cross-country skier


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Are there any American wines that are comparable to the German Spatlese and Auslese wines? I haven't found any yet with the same taste.
Answer:
The ATF in America does not allow the use of German terms such as Spatlese or Auslese on U.S. wine labels so they are called in English: Late Harvest (Spatlese) and Select Late Harvest (Auslese and above). And of course the famous grape of Germany is the Riesling. So look for Riesling--Late Harvest or Riesling--Select Late Harvest from California wineries such as: KENDALL- JACKSON, BERINGER, JOSEPH PHELPS etc. Even some Washington wineries such as HOGUE or CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE do these dessert style Rieslings. They will be higher in price than drier Rieslings because they can only be made--just as in Germany--in great vintage years when there are weeks of extra sunshine past the normal harvest dates to make the grapes very ripe. Good Luck finding the ones you like. Any fine wine store in your area should have several of these--even if they are locked in their wine vault. Otherwise, buy the German originals, which are widely available in the U.S.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"A hard drinker, being at table, was offered grapes at dessert. 'Thank you,' said he, pushing the dish away from him, 'but I am not in the habit of taking my wine in pills."
~~ Anthelme Brillat-Savarin


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"All wines have nutritional value, if you don't buy, we don't eat."
~~ Sign in a restaurant


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
What is verjuice or verjus, and how can I get it or make it myself?
Answer:
Verjuice is the juice of unripened grapes. The only way to get it is to pick them in a vineyard before they ripen for harvesting. Verjuice can be found in gourmet and specialty stores. It is very sour, and a good substitute for Verjuice is a good white wine vinegar.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Dinner at the Huntercombes' possessed only two dramatic features — the wine was a farce and the food a tragedy."
~~ Anthony Powell


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I don't drink; I don't like it ~ it makes me feel good."
~~ Oscar Levant


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Health is what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down."
~~ Phyllis Diller


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I don't have a drink problem except when I can't get one."
~~ Tom Waits


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Since I have become a vegetarian I cannot drink heavy wines. I am making a special polenta main course with a wild mushroom sauce that has port wine in it, what would you recommend as the wine partner?
Answer:
Your vegetarian meal sounds delicious. I would choose a red since you are using port in the mushroom sauce. However, you do not want to overpower the polenta since it has no heavy meat, so I'd suggest a dry, red with some deep concentration of fruit such as a MERLOT (which is very smooth and the most popular red wine)--you can find many examples in any good wine store, most will be from wineries in California. Choose your price range and they will find one for you!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"I've formed a new group called Alcoholics Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you."
~~ Richard Harris


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I am looking for a few moderately priced wines for everyday use. Could you provide 3 reds and 3 whites? What are your favorite everyday wines?
Answer:
The simplest wine questions are always the hardest to answer because I don't know what you like! Do you like very robust, heavy reds-or lighter wines and slightly sweet whites? And you do not specify a price range-- everyone's idea of everyday is different. And just a dollar or two increase in price can make a world of difference in the quality and appeal of the taste. But let me give you six wines based on the assumption you like a range of wines and are talking under $10 a bottle. Best Value for Money = Whites = Chardonnay or Sauvignon Blanc from California/Reds = Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon or Zinfandel = NAPA RIDGE, TALUS, FORESTVILLE, VILLA MT. EDEN, WENTE, GEYSER PEAK, FETZER, CHATEAU SOUVERAIN, BUENA VISTA, QUIVIRA, ST. SUPERY, GUENOC. Good Rieslings which are medium-dry whites that are light and fruity, try CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE (Washington State) or GERMAN RIESLING KABINETT. Best Italian Sangiovese (my favorite smooth red)= BOLLA, RUFFINO "FONTE AL SOLE"; Best Australia Shiraz (another favorite smooth red)= PENFOLDS "Koonunga Hill"; Best Chile Wines = ERRAZURIZ and CALITERRA. Best Spanish reds for price are RIOJA or RIBERA DEL DUERO (any brand). Hope this helps. Go to a fine wine store in your area and they will have lots and lots of brands within these types for under $10. Good Luck!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
I am not a meat eater, so I usually order fish when we are eating out. What are the best wine choices for fish?
Answer:
PINOT NOIR is the best choice with grilled Salmon and many other fish steaks such as Swordfish, Blue Marlin, and Sea Bass, etc. This is because Pinot Noir is light enough in body and high enough in acidity to perfectly match most grilled or sautéed fish. The only exception would be if the swordfish or redfish or grouper etc. were served "blackened" Cajun style. Then those heavy Cajun spices of lots I would choose a SYRAH from California or France--called red Rhone wines in France--or a SHIRAZ from Australia (which is the same Syrah grape under another name). Also, when Pinot Noir is not available for something like swordfish or tuna steak, I have substituted a MERLOT and found it to be all right as well. And if it is Italian style seafood such as Cioppino, you can serve the Italian red grape SANGIOVESE. t if you've never tried a Pinot Noir with Grilled Salmon, then you haven't lived! Try it and see.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Not all men who drink are poets. Some of us drink because we aren't poets."
~~ Unknown


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
What is the best wine to gift for a close friend's Anniversary?
Answer:
What a thoughtful friend you are! The perfect wines to give as Anniversary gifts are either those they can consume then and there to celebrate, such as French Champagne, or fine red wines or vintage Portos that can be saved and aged until the 10th anniversary. So if you want French Champagne, buy Brut Vintage if you can afford it. Brut means dry, and Vintage means from a single vintage year that is declared great. Best brands include: In the $35 price range MUMM Cordon Rouge, POMMERY, TAITTINGER Brut La Francaise, HEISIECK, VEUVE CLICQUOT etc. These also go all the way up to $90 per bottle for their best "cuveé"-such as Dom Perignon, Cuvee Louise, Taittinger Comtes de Champagne, and Fleur de Champagne in hand painted flower bottle by Perrier-Jouet. Any Vintage Porto--especially 1994s on the market now--will be great for keeping 10-15 years. Any great Cabernet Sauvignon from California or red Bordeaux will also make a fantastic gift for saving 10 years. Go to the best wine store in your area and ask their wine consultant to find these items in your price range. My suggestion is the immediate gratification of good French Champagne!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"I don’t drink anymore – just the same amount."
~~ Joe. E. Lewis


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"A mind of the calibre of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows."
~~ George Bernard Shaw


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded every time we go out to a nice restaurant that we have no idea what we are doing? Why don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?"
~~ Jerry Seinfeld


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."
~~ George Best


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Avoid any wine with a childproof cap."
~~ Richard Smit


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far away, but I will walk carefully."
~~ Old Russian Proverb


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"That which belongs to another."
~~ Diogenes, when asked what wine he liked to drink.


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Some people look good with white wine, some don't."
~~ Donald Barthelme


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
What Spanish Rioja under $10 would you suggest?
Answer:
Every city will have different availability, but here are the most popular brands of Spanish Riojas: Bodegas Montecillo-Vina Cumbrero 1995 or 1996 Marques de Cacerers-Riojas "Crianza" 1995 or 1996 Marques de Grinon-Rioja 1995 or 1996 Conde de Valdemar "Crianza"-Bodegas Martinez Bujanda 1995 Marques de Murrieta-"Crianza" 1995 Bodegas Muga-Torre Muga-Rioja 1995 Federico Paternina-Rioja, Banda Azul, 1995 Faustino-Rioja 1995 If you love red Rioja made from Tempranillo grape, may I suggest you try another great Spanish red made from Tempanillo: Ribera de Duero wines-from one of the hottest new regions in Spain.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
Someone told me that Washington's wine country is on the same latitude as Bordeaux, France. Does that mean Washington produces the same type of high quality Cabernet/Merlot blends?
Answer:
Vineyards in Washington, the state just above Oregon, are at the same 46 degrees north latitude as Bordeaux, France. They cover the entire Columbia River basin in the dry, sagebrush-covered hills of the eastern part of the state. Because it is not rainy like the western side of the state which is on the Pacific Ocean, the vineyards are precisely irrigated, the growing season is extra long and the grapevines get two more hours of sunshine during the day than Napa Valley, California. The ideal of warm, dry days (for ripe fruit qualities) and cool nights (for good acidity) is achieved in almost every vintage. Even the deep, nutrient-poor, sandy loam soils are comparable to important parts of Bordeaux including St. Emilion, which is why the red Bordeaux varietals do as well in Washington. Other microclimates are great for every white grape variety including for the production of Dry Rieslings and Gewurztraminer. Consumers can find virtually every grape they could possibly desire in Washington. But to my mind, and as evidenced by their huge popularity in the marketplace, Washington Merlots are their very best wines-not just best red wine, but best wine, period.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food!"
~~ Leslie Duncan


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
We had a wonderful claret by Sandeman while dining in London, but we have been unable to find it in the U.S. Can you recommend some other labels to try?
Answer:
Sandeman is a company usually associated with Port, Sherry and Madeira fortified wines, so I was surprised you had a claret from them. I've never seen a Sandeman claret in the U.S.A. Since it did not have the name of a Chateau on it, but that of a company brand name, it was probably an inexpensive claret. A good substitute would be any French red wines from Bordeaux in the moderate price range. Look for Appellation Controlee (the controlled name of the wine supervised by the French government wine laws) Bordeaux, "Bordeaux Superieur," "Medoc," "Haut Medoc," etc. Haut Medoc is the district where the great Chateaux are located such as Ch. Lafite- Rothschild, Ch. Mouton-Rothschild and Ch. Margaux, etc.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Alcohol is a very necessary article. It enables Parliament to do things at eleven at night that no sane person would do at eleven in the morning."
~~ George Bernard Shaw


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I've got a drinking problem - two hands and only one mouth."
~~ Unknown


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk."
~~ Lee Entrekin.


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I drink to make other people interesting."
~~ George Jean Nathan


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Can you recommend different types of wines--white vs. red varietals and Champagne--for my wedding? The food selection will be buffet.
Answer:
Congratulations! I have helped many brides to be with their wine wedding plans. First there is usually a bar during reception--and what you need is good, but relatively moderate-priced Chardonnay (dry white), Merlot (smooth dry red), and White Zinfandel (blushing pink slightly sweet wine). There are many California brand names that will do such as NAPA RIDGE or TALUS (inexpensive), or CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE or VILLA MT. EDEN (moderate price just over and under $10 a bottle). At the table, when everyone is seated, you will need the same types of wine, but because everyone can look at the labels on the bottles as they are being served, you can use the last two wineries I named or go up one step in price to wineries such as FREEMARK ABBEY, BERINGER, RAVENSWOOD, ST. FRANCIS, CHATEAU ST. JEAN etc. As for the Champagne, you can have one good French Champagne for a single glass toast- Champagne, you can have one good French Champagne for a single glass toast- BRUT LA FRANCAISE, VEUVE CLICQUOT BRUT N.V., ROEDERER BRUT N.V. etc.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils: people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing."
~~ Tom Dreesen


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."
~~ Dean Martin


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Burgundy makes you think of silly things; Bordeaux makes you talk about them, and Champagne makes you do them."
~~ Brillat-Savarin


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Does the shape of the wine glass really make a difference?
Answer:
Absolutely--the taste of the wine does change depending on the glasses you use. Professional tasters, when they are blending great French Champagnes for instance, use several different shape glasses to taste each grape variety and vineyard to decide how to blend them together. Each glass shape accentuates certain components of the aroma/taste in the same wines. This was dramatically demonstrated at a Reidel wine glass tasting. Reidel, Austrian crystal company, makes wine glasses in completely different shapes for each grape variety or type of wine--for example they make a Bordeaux/Cabernet Sauvignon glass, White Burgundy/Chardonnay glass, German/Riesling glass etc. We first tasted Riesling in the Chardonnay glass, Pinot Noir in the Cabernet glass--in other words the wines in the wrong glasses and then compared these aromas and tastes when we had them in the correct glasses, i.e. Chardonnay in the Chardonnay glass, Pinot Noir in the Pinot Noir glass etc. What a difference! The Reidel glasses for the appropriate grape made them taste and smell so much better! More intensely flavored aromas, and more complexity and depth in the taste, character and structure of the wines. We asked the Reidel glass company's owner why the shapes made such a difference and he said technically they do not know why! They just know from decades of glass making experience and experiment that these shapes work best for these grapes. I believe the reason they make a difference is the width of the mouth of each glass and the amount of air mixed with the wine as it enters your palate--but it is physics I can hardly understand--just admire!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"There are more old drunkards than old doctors."
~~ French


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"A psychologist once said that we know little about the conscience - except that it is soluble in alcohol."
~~ Thomas Blackburn


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I have made an important discovery... that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication."
~~ Oscar Wilde


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"The fine wine leaves you with something pleasant; the ordinary wine just leaves."
~~ Maynard Amerine


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"The best use of bad wine is to drive away poor relations."
~~ French proverb


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"If all the vine rows in Australia were laid end to end, they would reach nearly to the moon ... but how would we pick the grapes?"
~~ John Wilson


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"What is man, when you come to think upon him, but a minutely set, ingenious machine for turning, with infinite artfulness, the red wine of Shiraz into urine?"
~~ Isak Dinesen


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
My heritage is Italian and I love pasta, but know nothing about Italian wines. Is there a shortcut to choosing the right wines for pasta?
Answer:
The sauce on the pasta determines what type of wine to choose. For instance, white clam sauce or pesto sauces are best with white wines such as Pinot Grigio or Gavi or Italian Chardonnay or Sauvignon Blanc etc. Red clam sauce or marinara sauces with sausage and peppers are best with red wines such as SANGIOVESE which is the famous red grape of Tuscany used in Chianti, Brunello, Rosso di Montalcino etc. Other great Italian red wines with pasta are Montepulciano d'Abruzzi, Barbaresco or Gattinara from the Piedmont, and Taurasi from Campania or Sicilian red wines etc. If you haven't tried a Sangiovese red, you owe it to yourself to buy one--even Bolla has one at $8 a bottle and there are many, many moderate price versions from Italy and lots of good ones slightly higher-priced from California. Best thing to do is visit a fine wine store and ask the wine consultant to give you a lesson on Italian wines as you are looking at the bottles and labels.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
What is ice wine and how and when should it be served?
Answer:
Eiswein is the German name for "ice wine". This means it is made in vintage years when it actually snows on the grapes and freezes them solid. By law the grapes have to be crushed while they are still frozen and the ice crystals hold the water and allow the sweet natural grape juice alone to go into fermentation. This produces one of the world's greatest dessert wines, and is rare and costly. Most German Eiswein is made from Riesling grapes, and is sold in half-bottles. It should be served chilled in small, clear glasses after dinner as a dessert. If you do serve a dessert along side it, choose simple pound cake with fruit, shortbread cookies, creme caramel or bread pudding. Ice wine is also made in Canada, New York and California. The ATF of the U.S. government does not allow the use of the German word Eiswein on the label, so it will be called "ice wine" in English or "vin glaciere" in French.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
I am having a party for 70 people. We will have a punch for non-drinkers. What else should I serve them? We want to have a bottle of each white and red wine at each table. What is a good and reasonably priced option? We are also having a Champagne toast. Any suggestions?
Answer:
The non-alcohol beverages that I recommend for non-drinkers include iced tea and red grape juice. Both of these have natural tannin which is the anti-oxidant in red grape skins and red wines. The taste of these (except for the sweetness of the red grape juice) will not interfere with the palate if some of these non-drinkers later decide to switch to wine. But sodas and punches do interfere with your ability to appreciate the taste of good wines. The most popular white wine is Chardonnay-inexpensive try NapaRidge, mid-price try Meridian or Wente, expensive try Sonoma-Cutrer, Grgich Hills or any Reserve Chardonnay from California. The most popular red wine is Merlot-inexpensive to mid-priced try Sequoia Ridge or Forest Glen or Columbia Crest; for slightly more expensive try Chateau St. Jean, DeLoach, Kenwood or Whitehall Lane etc. As for the Champagne toast-if you serve just one glass per person, you might be able to afford a good Brut N.V. French Champagne such as Bollinger Special Cuvee, Taittinger Brut La Francaise, Louis Roederer Premier, Laurent Perrier LP, Mumm Cordon Rouge, Heidsieck Monopole Blue Top, Pommery and Pol Roger. All these brands also do top of the line expensive Vintage dated Brut for a spectacular splurge.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life."
~~ Michelle Mastrolacasa


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I read some years ago of a Rhine Valley wine made from, I believe, raisins. It went by the moniker of TBA, an abbreviation of the longer German name that was a mouthful of 10+ letters. It's dessert wine I think. Can you help?
Answer:
A TROCKENBEERENAUSLESE German wine is abbreviated TBA. It is the most costly, rarest and sweetest of the six German "Pradikat" highest quality wines--that are never artificially sweetened or blended--and can only be made in great vintage years when there is enough sunshine several weeks past the normal harvest time for the grapes to be shriveled to "raisins" by the sun and the "noble rot" fungus called "botrytis" which occurs naturally. That's a mouthful! And a Trockenbeerenauslese is quite a delicious mouthful of sweet, golden-colored, honey flavored (from the botrytis) dessert wine--one of the greatest in the world. Usually sold in small half-bottles because it is expensive. It literally is dessert--and is served chilled, and sipped out of small glasses after a meal or with bread pudding, pecan pie, pound cake and fruit, crème caramel etc. Go to any fine wine store and look in their locked wine vault. The U.S. and other countries make a similar wine but cannot call it by the German name so look for the RIESLING grape, and the English words: "Select Late Harvest" or Botrytis on the label. It will still be rare and expensive.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"It seems that researchers at Colorado University say wine may help people lose weight. It's not the wine directly that causes the weight loss, it's all the walking around you do trying to find your car."
~~ Jay Leno


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I wanted to know how to make wine from grape juice.
Answer:
Sounds easy but it's very difficult, even for winemakers! Basically wine is fermented grape juice--so you could just add yeast to grape juice to create fermentation that creates alcohol. But unless you do this with instructions and the proper equipment and the right grape juice, you will get vinegar the minute the juice stops fermenting and is exposed to the air! My recommendation is to go to a store that sells beer-making supplies for homemade beer and see if they also sell winemaking supplies and kits for making homemade wine. They will give you instructions and tips on how to make the wine. It's tricky so you need professional assistance. That's why we applaud real wineries for making such good wine!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
During my last visit to Italy, I was told of a Grappa. It is supposed to be 90-95 proof. Would you know where in Italy it could be purchased?
Answer:
Grappa is a grape brandy that can be made in two versions in Italy: 1. The clear, colorless, firewater!, inexpensive brandy distilled from left over grape skins etc. from winemaking in all parts of Italy and available everywhere in the U.S. too; or 2. The golden color, richer, smoother, expensive Grappa made from the finest wine grapes used for famous Italian wines and given their names such as Grappa di Barolo, Grappa di Brunello etc. These are aged in oak barrels like fine Cognac and that's how they get to be so golden and smooth. They are expensive and can be high in alcohol (high proof). They can be found in the U.S. or purchased in the regions where made, i.e. Piedmont for Barolo and Tuscany for Brunello. Any great wine store that also sells brandy in Italy will have them--and ditto in the U.S. The brand name you mention is not in my list of brands available where I live in Atlanta. If a friend has a bottle, ask them "who is the importer or producer named on the label"? Then you can ask your favorite wine store to look it up in the Beverage Journal by wholesaler and importer.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it."
~~ Anonymous


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I eat turkey year round, not just at Thanksgiving. What wines would I serve?
Answer:
With Turkey, you can choose either a red or white wine depending on your preference. Most people who like lighter wines choose a soft white wine such as RIESLING. It does not have to be a sweet Riesling, it can be a drier style, but will have wonderful aromas of apple and peach. The best Rieslings in the world are made in Germany, but there are many good ones made in the U.S. Choose the medium-dry styles such as Kabinett from Germany. As for a red wine, these days everyone prefers again a lighter dry red and I would choose a MERLOT from California to go with your Turkey-- especially if its a roasted bird!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop."
~~ Noel Coward


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Could you tell me how long I can keep opened wines?
Answer:
In general you can store red wines with the cork re-inserted in a cool place for several days before it loses its freshness (turns a little vinegary after that). But the best way to store red wines is with a vacuvin. It is a white plastic pump with a gray rubber stopper that cost about $14 in wine stores. You insert the gray stopper in the half full wine bottle and use the plastic pump to take out the air and create a vacuum, thus preserving the wine longer (air oxidizes wine). With this vacuvin, you can keep reds for a week or two and whites can be kept cold in the refrigerator for about as long. If you use the regular cork in white wines that are stored in the refrigerator, they will pick up off odors from the foods in there--so it's better to use the vacuvin. If you cannot find vacuvin, then buy a simple bottle stopper with those porcelain/rubber rings and metal push down closure--every wine or cooking store sells them for less than $1. The only types of wines that cannot be kept fresh with a vacuvin are Champagnes and Sparkling wines because of their bubbles. Once you have enjoyed some of the Champagne or Sparkling wine, you will have to use a metal closure that screws down over the bottle to keep the wine fizzy. They are better than the other type with metal wings that snap down over the bottle. Both can be found in most wine stores.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office."
~~ Shirley MacLaine


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Which types of decanters are best?
Answer:
You need a decanter large enough to hold the contents of a standard bottle, with some room at the top to allow the wine to breathe. Decanters that maximize the wine-to-air surface ratio are best for young wines, while those with narrow necks that reduce air exposure are better for older wines that just need their sediment removed.


Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.


"Compromises are for relationships, not wine."
~~ Sir Robert Scott Caywood


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
How do I find a wine if it’s not in my wine store?
Answer:
Many readers tell me about a fabulous wine they had on vacation or at a friend’s house but couldn’t find in their local wine store. To find a wine, first check the liquor store’s web site, as many have searchable databases that will tell you whether they stock the wine and at which locations. Some chains also have hotlines you can call. If they don’t sell the wine, they may be able to give you the name and phone number of the sales agent who represents it so that you can buy directly. You can also look at the winery’s web site, which often lists local retailers or agents. If not, you can e-mail the general mailbox to ask about them.


Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.


"I'm so holy that when I drink wine, it turns into water."
~~ Aga Kan III


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
My husband bought a bottle of Muscat because the bottle looked nice and displayed nicely. What do I serve with that kind of wine?
Answer:
Muscat is known the world over as a light to medium bodied, sweet white wine. It can range in sweetness from slight to very sweet dessert style. You don't mention what country or what winery your Muscat originates from, so I am not sure exactly how sweet your particular bottle will be. However, the best food matches for most Muscat wines are: 1. Barbecue Sauce (sweet red sauce version) on any meat; 2. Sweet & Sour Chinese food; 3. Pineapple or Apple Upside Down Cake or any Pound Cake with Fruit topping; 4. Crème Caramel or Flan; 5. Almond or Hazelnut Cookies or Biscotti or Torte; Orange Tart, Macaroons, Fig Newtons, Pumpkin Pie!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Never accept a drink from a urologist."
~~ Erma Bombeck


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I've taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has ever taken from me."
~~ Sir Winston Churchill


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
How long do wines keep once opened?
Answer:
The answer is a highly subjective, according to both the wine and the drinker. Generally, dry white wines have the shortest life once opened. I find they lose their character after even one or two days, especially cheaply-made, oaky New World whites. (Whites with good acidity and lots of character from Burgundy are an exception.) For reds, I think that most start to slip after two days, though again it depends on how well the wine was made. There are always exceptions.

Sweet and fortified wines, such as icewine, port and sherry, have a longer life because of their higher sweetness and/or alcohol, both of which act as a preservative. I still like most opened icewines after three to four days; ports from one week to four, depending on their quality. You can extend the life of any opened wine by giving it a few squirts of liquid nitrogen, such as Wine Preserver, a spray can sold in many liquor and wine accessory stores. Another trick is to pour your remaining wine into a clean, empty half bottle size and cork it. This also minimizes the amount of oxygen that can affect the wine. Some drinkers don't mind a wine that's still 60-80% there in terms of its character; others want the full expression or nothing. I tend to err on the latter side of the ledger.


Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.



Question:
What does the term "terroir" mean? In plain English please! Is it used exclusively with regard to French wines?
Answer:
Most Americans are terrified of this word because it is hard to pronounce- tair wahr-and it is a very hard concept to understand. "Terroir" is a French term--meaning differences in geography, soil and climate from one vineyard to the next will produce distinct differences in the taste of the wine even if they grow the same grapes. It is a term that originated in Burgundy, France-but it is important in every wine country. The finest and most expensive wines in the world from any country-whether labeled by grape variety, controlled name of origin or level of quality by sugar content-- are "single vineyard" wines that name the individual vineyard where the grapes were grown. This is much like the difference in terroir that produces Kona Vintage Chocolate from Hawaii or Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee. What a difference a place makes. Finally, the reputation of the winery and its winemaker are also an indication of quality-as is the vintage year, the year of harvest, on the label. The vintage year is not the year the wine was made since some wines are in production for 2-3 years. Every year all wineries have to grow an entire new crop of grapes. Some years the weather is good and the harvest of fruit (grapes) is good. Without good grapes you cannot make good wine. If the weather is not good during a growing season, it is not rated a good vintage year.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"On one occasion some one put a very little wine into a glass, and said that it was sixteen years old. 'It is very small for its age,' said Gnathaena."
~~ Athenaeus


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I drink to forget I drink."
~~ Joe E. Lewis


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I am going to a wine tasting party on Saturday night. I need to bring a white and red wine from NY State. Do you have any suggestions? I also need to bring a food from that state.
Answer:
I've always enjoyed the wines from two regions in New York state: The Finger Lakes--especially Chardonnay from Dr. Konstantin Frank; and Long Island--Cabernet Sauvignons from Lenz, Ternhaven, Macari, Bedell are some of the best Cabernets made in America. These are fine, dry wines--forget about those Concord or Catawba sweet native grape wines! Other excellent wine choices from New York state include reds and whites from the Lake Erie and Hudson River wine growing regions. As for food from N.Y., you could cheat and buy any gourmet food item from Dean & Deluca in New York City! Or why not try to find a great New York state Cheddar cheese?


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
How do I become a wine writer?
Answer:
There's no standard way to become a wine writer. I think most wine writers come in through the back door, from another field since there aren’t any wine writing schools. Your best bet is to read and taste all you can, and start cold calling editors. Start with your local newspaper or smaller wine publications, such as a neighborhood newspaper, and work your way up. It's a slow but enjoyable process.

I’d say when starting out that you get at least nineteen no’s for every yes. I don’t mean this as discouragement but there are many folks wanting to do this so you have to be persistent (and keep your day job for many years). Sometimes, the most effective approach is to find a publication that doesn’t have a wine column but should. Often the big papers and magazines have regular columnists and they don’t need other articles.

You should also try to prefect your craft in several ways: by reading all you can about wine, by tasting all the wines you can and by working on writing itself (take some journalism corses). Find someone, if you can, who is a veteran journalist, perhaps someone at the university to review your work—and pay that person if need be.

Even if you can’t get published at first, write some pieces on popular topics (food and wine matching or something seasonal such as great wines for the barbecue or something that’s a bit of a scoop like an interview with a visiting winemaker), polish it up and have it ready. Most editors just want one-paragraph ideas but you’ll have these as samples.

Keep trying. It’s lonely and hard for the first two to three years. But if you work at it, some day you may find yourself a full-fledged wine hack!


Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.



Question:
I would just like to know what is your favorite casual wine?
Answer:
Well, I love red wines, so I drink them even on casual occasions--though I love the best of every type of wine, i.e. great French Champagne; French White & Red Burgundy; definitely Red Bordeaux; Rhone reds; Italian Sangiovese, Amarone and Barolo; California Cabernet Sauvignons, Meritage reds and Zinfandels; and Australia Shiraz etc. The best values for casual drinking among these are: Australia Shiraz, Italian Sangiovese, California Cabernet and Zinfandel, Spanish reds and French Cotes du Rhone--all good everyday reds. P.S. My Italian parents always had red wine on the table when I was growing up--and made homemade red wine too-and I got my wine training in London where I practiced drinking the great French, Italian, Spanish red wines. Everyone's palate is different, so drink whatever gives you the most pleasure, though that changes over time.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"The best thing about a cocktail party is being asked to it."
~~ Gerald Nachman


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I have never been drunk. On occasion, I may have been over-served."
~~ Unknown


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"A typical wine writer was once described as someone with a typewriter who was looking for his name in print, a free lunch and a way to write off his wine cellar. It's a dated view. Wine writers now use computers."
~~ Frank Prial, NYTimes, January 21, 1998


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"There are no dumb questions, only pretentious people."
~~ Winegeek.com


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I only drink wine when I am alone or with someone."
~~ Unknown


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I've heard that wine ages faster in splits than in regular 750ml bottles. Is there a rule of thumb I can use for determining how long after the vintage a split will last?
Answer:
The saying that wine ages more quickly in smaller size bottles such as splits came about because for French Champagne they decant the wine from larger bottles into smaller bottles and thereby lose some of the fizz and let air get to the wine. That's why many splits of any sparkling wine from any country are usually somewhat flat, and do not age well at all. It is not quite so bad for red wines because reds wines have more natural tannin or preservative from their black grape skins, and the wineries that make half-bottles of red wine usually fill and age them the same as they do the larger bottles without decanting. The same may be true of the better white wines in half-bottles such as Chardonnay or white Burgundy from France-- however white wines age more quickly than reds anyway. So there is no hard rule of thumb as to how long any of the "splits" or "half-bottles" will last--the longest lasting being the fine red wines such as Cabernet Sauvignon or Bordeaux in half-bottles, then oak-aged white wines in half bottles. By the way, it costs a winery almost as much money for the glass bottle and cork in the half size as it does for their full size bottles, so wineries have to charge a premium price for these smaller bottles. It really is better to buy the regular size 750 ml bottle and then use a vacuvin or stopper to preserve it until you drink the bottle glass by glass.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
Whether you call it Cioppino in Italian or Bouillabaisse in French. I like making a tomato based seafood stew. What are my best wine matches?
Answer:
There are two styles of Italian Chardonnay you could buy for your Cioppino recipe: The very light body, dry, stainless steel fermented style such as Torresella (very inexpensive), or the slightly oakier upscale style such as Ruffino "Libaio". Whichever you choose, and you can also select an inexpensive California Chardonnay such as Napa Ridge to use in the recipe, I do not recommend you purchase an expensive Chardonnay to cook with. Instead, cook with the less expensive types I mention, and then serve a more upscale Chardonnay when actually eating the Cioppino with your family or guests. In Italy they have these types of Chardonnay too--such as Ruffino's "Cabreo" instead of the Libaio. Go to your local fine wine store and they will help you. If you want an upscale California Chardonnay to serve with the dinner, then try Kunde "Kinneybrook", Chalk Hill, or Guenoc.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"One drink is just right; two is too many; three are too few."
~~ Spanish saying


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it."
~~ Hannah More


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Bartender, I'd like whatever the man on the floor was drinking."
~~ Unknown


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
As a special treat, I am doing a romantic dinner with Crown Roast of Lamb as the main course. I want a special wine to go with it.
Answer:
The classic wine combination for Crown Roast of Lamb is a Cabernet Sauvignon or red Bordeaux wine. But since your recipe marinates the lamb in rosemary and garlic, I would suggest a "warmer" tasting red wine with more of a Mediterranean flavor such as: COTES DU RHONE from France. It is a blend of the red Rhone grapes including Syrah, and is moderately priced at under $15 per bottle. The more expensive version from the Rhone River region in France is called CHATEAUNEUF DU PAPE, and you can find it for $20 and over in most wine stores. Both Rhone reds are spicy, dry, full-bodied red wines. You can also buy SYRAH wines from California such as Stag's Leap from Napa. Another California red wine that makes a perfect partner for your lamb is ZINFANDEL--and you can find many excellent examples in the $15 price range such as: Villa Mt. Eden (delicious, a great value from Napa), Rabbit Ridge, Ravenswood, Roseblum etc. Zinfandel is also a dry red, with spice, black raspberry or blackberry flavors.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
I first drank Sangria in a little Italian restaurant in New York City two years ago, and I immediately fell in love with it, but the restaurant could not, of course, give me the recipe. So, I have been searching for a recipe for a really great Sangria, but have only come across a very generic one out of someone's home cookbook. I know that its main component is wine with a bit of fruit and juice but I haven't a clue as to what the proportions should be! Do you know of any recipes for either Red or White Sangria? If not, could you give me any suggestions of where to look?
Answer:
Love your e-mail nom de plume! Sangria is made like my grandmother from Italy cooked--no recipe, just a bit of this and a bit of that. It's up to individual interpretation in other words. There is a wine still on the market called YAGO Sangria, available in red and white versions. Very inexpensive, in large size bottles too and ready to be served over ice or chilled. My own recipe for Sangria is take a punchbowl or big pitcher, add thin crosswise slices of say two large oranges, pour in one bottle of dry red wine--any will do but originally it was a Spanish red--add a half-pint of brandy--E&J Gallo California will do--but brand is optional, stir, add about 16 oz. of orange juice (necessary if you add the brandy), sugar to taste, give it a good stir and if you want flavors to meld put plastic wrap over the top and put in the refrigerator for a couple hours or overnight, finally add ice cubes just before you're ready to serve. In fact, you can even add the red wine to the orange slices the night before your party, let them soak together overnight in the fridge, and then before your party add all the other ingredients including the ice cubes. P.S. Some recipes add sparkling mineral water--but that can dilute it too much. It should be refreshing without being watery.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"I got so wasted one night I waited for the Stop sign to change, and it did."
~~ Steve Krabitz


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I have been drinking the dry Marsala I use when making Chicken Marsala. It does not taste very good with the dish. What wine would you serve with it?
Answer:
Dry Marsala is an Italian fortified wine that is great when cooking veal or chicken, but it really isn't very pleasant to drink on its own as a wine. Actually, I prefer red wine with Chicken Marsala--namely the SANGIOVESE--it is the most famous red wine and red grape variety in Tuscany, Italy. You can buy either a "Chianti Classico" or "Chianti Classico Riserva" (the better of the two) which are made from Sangiovese in Tuscany, Italy. My favorite brands of Chianti are: BANFI and ANTINORI's "Aziano". Or you can buy SANGIOVESE by the name on the label such as: BOLLA "Sangiovese" or RUFFINO "Fonte al Sole". These will be very moderately priced at less than $9 per bottle.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
How does one tell if a bottle of wine is from the Burgundy region or from Bordeaux if it does not tell you on the label?
Answer:
Ah, there's the rub! They do tell you on French wine labels whether it's a Bordeaux or Burgundy by giving you the "Appellation Controllee" or controlled name of origin which is a place name. But you have to be able to recognize the place names as coming from either Bordeaux or Burgundy. That's why I spend so much time on French wines when I teach Wine School-- you have to familiarize yourself with a lot of place names, i.e. districts, communes, vineyards. But here is a secret shortcut just for you. Look at the shape of the bottles--the Bordeauxs are always in tall, high-shouldered bottles called Bordeaux bottles and that's why even in California or Australia they use the same shape Bordeaux bottle for Bordeaux grapes such as Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot or Sauvignon Blanc. And the Burgundy shape bottle in France is always squatter with sloping shoulders--and that again is why all over the world they use Burgundy shape bottles for the Burgundy grapes Chardonnay and Pinot Noir. Also, at the bottom of the wine labels, you can look for the word "Bordeaux" or "Bourgogne (Burgundy) or Cote d'Or (the best district in Burgundy)" as the location of the producer. This should help you considerably!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
The best steak restaurants have an overwhelming list of red wines. How do I navigate through the many possibilities?
Answer:
A good steak pairs best with good red wine. Most of the fine steak restaurants sell much more of the better red wines than white for good reason--the reds help us digest the steak better and keep our arteries clearer! You don't tell me what kinds of wine your like so I'm going to suggest you develop a taste for the great Cabernet Sauvignon/Merlot blends from California. Many are called "Meritage Red". Some of the best are: ESTANCIA "Meritage", ST. SUPERY "Meritage", CHATEAU ST. JEAN "Cinq Cepages", CAIN Cuvee, BERINGER "Alluvium", and BEAULIEU VINEYARD "Tapestry" etc.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"If your doctor warns that you have to watch your drinking, find a bar with a mirror."
~~ John Mooney


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk."
~~ Lee Entrekin.


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober."
~~ William Butler Yeats


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"When my mom got really mad, she would say, 'Your butt is my meat.' Not a particularly attractive phrase. And I always wondered, ''Now, what wine goes with that?'"
~~ Jonathan Solomon


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Can I use my basement to store wines? It is pretty cool.
Answer:
Your basement could be very good for wine storage. The recommended temperature is in the range of 55-65 degrees F., and the recommended humidity is in the range of 60-75%. What really does damage to wine are bright, fluorescent lights; mold & odors; vibration, and extremes of temperature-if the temperature goes below 40 degrees F. you could cause tartrate crystals to precipitate out of your wines, and above 75 degrees F. you would age (i.e. oxidize) your wines more quickly.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid."
~~ Richard Braunstein


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Called up the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms regional office and asked, What wine goes best with an M-16?" The guy who answered did his best to be helpful: "That depends. What are you smoking?"""
~~ Michael Maciolek


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"If you drink like a fish, don't drive. Swim."
~~ Joe E. Lewis


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Can you recommend different types of wines--white vs. red varietals and Champagne--for my wedding? The food selection will be buffet.
Answer:
Congratulations! I have helped many brides to be with their wine wedding plans. First there is usually a bar during reception--and what you need is good, but relatively moderate-priced Chardonnay (dry white), Merlot (smooth dry red), and White Zinfandel (blushing pink slightly sweet wine). There are many California brand names that will do such as NAPA RIDGE or TALUS (inexpensive), or CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE or VILLA MT. EDEN (moderate price just over and under $10 a bottle). At the table, when everyone is seated, you will need the same types of wine, but because everyone can look at the labels on the bottles as they are being served, you can use the last two wineries I named or go up one step in price to wineries such as FREEMARK ABBEY, BERINGER, RAVENSWOOD, ST. FRANCIS, CHATEAU ST. JEAN etc. As for the Champagne, you can have one good French Champagne for a single glass toast- Champagne, you can have one good French Champagne for a single glass toast- BRUT LA FRANCAISE, VEUVE CLICQUOT BRUT N.V., ROEDERER BRUT N.V. etc.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
What are those "streaks" in my wine?
Answer:
The "streaks" in your wine are called the "legs". They fall like tears on the inside of your wine glass after you have finished swirling. The legs are a visual measure of the viscosity or thickness of the wine, and they are related to the glycerol content of the wine, which is related to the alcohol content, and sugar content or ripeness of the grapes used to make the wine. Wines that are more viscous, with more slowly forming and thicker legs, are said to be heavier in "body". Light bodied wines have virtually no legs and look like water when you swirl them in your glass. So in wine terms, "legs" are an eyeball measure of the "body" of the wine, whether heavy or full-bodied, medium-bodied, or light-bodied. It's a judgment call, that usually only professional tasters are interested in when they rate a wine on a numerical scale. But now you can act like a wine judge and know what you see when you swirl and wait for the legs!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine."
~~ Fran Lebowitz


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"It's all right, the white wine came up with the fish."
~~ Herman J. Mankiwicz (sp?) after getting sick at a formal dinner.


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age."
~~ Steven Wright


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
When I went into the store to buy sweet red wines for after dinner, I was told by the clerk that most red wines were dry. Am I clueless or are they?
Answer:
You're not clueless, they are! Yes, over 90% of red wines are dry, so finding a fruity, slightly sweet one takes some thinking. But PORTO is one of the world's greatest sweet reds, and it is definitely an after dinner dessert wine. Best types are "Vintage" Porto, which is the most expensive, but more reasonably priced is "Ruby Porto" or "Late Bottled Vintage" or other red Portos such as Graham's Six Grapes etc. Porto will be sweet red, high in alcohol at 20%. But if you want a lighter red wine that is only slightly sweet, then may I recommend a couple of other wines: LAMBRUSCO Red wine from Italy is a very high volume selling wine in the U.S. and refreshing from slight fizzy quality and can be served chilled and its inexpensive--try the Riunite red. The same company also does a red sparkling wine from Brachetto grapes called: BRACHETTO d' ACQUI from Italy. It's in the $24 price range. Lambrusco is only $5 per bottle. Most Ruby Porto from Portugal starts at $15 per bottle. Other famous sweet red wines include: Banyuls from France, Mavrodaphne from Greece and Recioto della Valpolicella from Italy.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved."
~~ Rose Kennedy on her 100th birthday


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
A number of red wines have a certain quality I don't like. They make my tongue dry and bitter.
Answer:
The sensations you describe on your tongue are both from the "tannin" in wines. Tannin is the same tannic acid found in a cup of strong tea. It is a natural preservative in wine and most of it comes from black grape skins-- so red wines, especially when young have the most tannin. Tannin gives an astringent taste and also a dry sensation on the tongue-so it is both a taste and a tactile sensation. Wines that are aged in oak barrels also pick up wood tannin--and this is usually the only source of tannin in white wines. To summarize, if you don't like the taste of tannin in wines, then choose either light white wines that are not oaky, such as Riesling, Pinot Blanc, Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Grigio which are called "soft" wines, or light red wines with little tannin such as Gamay Beaujolais, Dolcetto, Lambrusco and Pinot Noir. Also, medium-bodied dry, red wines with soft tannins such as Merlot, Sangiovese or Shiraz are very popular exactly because they are smoother, less astringent wines. Avoid the blockbuster reds such as Cabernet Sauvignon, which have the most tannin. But that's the good thing about tannin--it allows the best red wines to live for many years in the bottle. It also has been shown to help keep your arteries clear. Many Europeans learn to like the taste of tannin by mixing half red wine and half non-sparkling mineral water. And those that can afford it buy much older red wine collector's items because their tannins have precipitated out as sediment and the wines will taste much smoother than when they were young.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Wine is the reason I get up every afternoon."
~~ Anonymous


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Man does not suffer from too much to drink, but from the hangover."
~~ Russian Proverb


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss."
~~ Lazarus Long


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Never drink from your finger bowl, it contains only water."
~~ Addison Mizner


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I have been interested in wine for about a year and have tried several different varietals and have seemed to plateau at my current level of understanding. Any suggestions? I also manage in the restaurant business so I am curious about new ways to describe wine to my employees as well.
Answer:
Just when you think you've had all the varietals available-new ones come out! For instance, California now accepts 8 red Bordeaux varieties for Meritage red wines: Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Malbec, Cabernet Franc, Petit Verdot, Gros Verdot, St. Macaire and Carmenere. Even I never knew St. Macaire was a separate grape. I did know Carmenere was grown in Chile where it is sometimes mistaken for Merlot, but I never knew it was the oldest of the Bordeaux grapes and has now, after 10 years effort, been brought to the U.S. and successfully grown at Guenoc Winery in Lake County, CA. So, you see there is always something new to learn.